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How can I find the strength to walk away?

I have been in an abusive relationship for the last 5 years and unfortunately my brain and heart are at war. We fell in love fast and hard but unfortunately when he drinks he turns violent. The first time was not major but he went to jail for 3 months. He was home for 2 months before we had a few drinks together and he hurt me...that time he went to prison for 4 years. When he first went away I thought we were done and I was ready to walk away, but then he started sending letters and he got into my heart. I stayed with him for his whole prison term...spent every weekend visiting him only to have him come home and start abusing me right off the bat.I stupidly kept making excuses thinking that things would get better if we stopped drinking. The physical abuse wasn't present without alcohol, but he was emotionally and verbally abusive...even cheating on me. I don't know why I thought we would be okay to drink together but we did it and every time was worse than the last. He was home for exactly one year and about to be released from parole when we decided to have some drinks. This time things got nasty and he punched me repeatedly. He is now back in prison for another few years and I realize that this is my opportunity to get out of this but being the emotionally driven person I am I cannot seem to stop talking to him. Every time we have an argument on the phone I tell myself I am done, yet the very next time he calls I am drawn back in. WHY cant I let my brain win this battle??? We have had some very good times together and we have some strong connection that I have never had with anyone before. The good memories are what keeps me bound to him and as much as I despise what he has done to me I cannot stop loving him. My heart is shattered and I don't know how to move forward. If anyone else has been through this I would love to hear how you did it.
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