Medical Questions > Parenting > Grade School Kids Health Forum

Helping 5 yr old adjust to big changes

I have 2 children (son is 4 daughter is 5) both by the same guy who has been in and out of their lives for the last 2yrs since he told me to get out of our condo and "take the brats" with me. I moved from Nv to Az with the children and he has seen them 4 times since and other then when he wants us to come to NV never calls to see how they are. I met a new guy that was in town visiting so it became a long distance thing where the kids and I were on webcam and voice chat often and he would fly out to see us every other weekend. After talking and considering the options it was a better choice for us to move to be with him then him to relocate. We have been here 6 weeks now and my 5yr old has constant emotional outbursts and says she hates living here. My son on the other hand loves it and has taken to my boyfriend without a second thought. I make sure to spend time with just the kids each separate so they do not feel left out and they are always included and asked what they want when the chance arises. My daughter has her own room that is decorated how she wanted when we moved here. For the first time in her life she does have a bedtime of 9pm and cries herself to sleep every night. Before we moved we lived with my brother in a one bedroom apartment where my children and I slept in the living room together so having "their" room sleeping by themselves is a new change too. If I let her fall asleep in the living room on a sleeping bag there is no crying herself to sleep either so I'm not sure what to do now.
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replied August 8th, 2010
Experienced User
Hi flirtycuddle84

It can be difficult for children to make a transition like the one you just described. As wonderful as a new room is, and as much as I'm sure your daughter loves it, deep down she may have issues she doesn't realize and therefore cannot voice out.

Perhaps having moved twice makes her feel like it may happen again, and make her feel like her environment is unstable. This is why she seeks the familiar comfort of falling asleep in the living room. Sometimes a new room in a new home is scary for a child, so give her time. To get her to sleep in her room, you may want to try laying next to her a few nights or keeping her door open and the hallway light on and your door ajar as well. At least she knows she can come in at any time.

Secondly, the stress of the move and the stress of her having to change from living with you and an uncle to now living with you and your boyfriend may be something she really feels and doesn't understand.

How is her relationship with your boyfriend?

Finally, how is she doing in school? Has she made friends? What do her teachers say about her performance?
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