Medical Questions > Mental Health > Eating Disorders Forum

Helping girlfriend with bulemia ?

I've been with my girlfriend for over a year now and ive known about her bulimia since day one, im the only person she has ever let in and she has ever trusted enough to tell. At the beginning of our relationship i didnt understand bulimia AT ALL but after being around it every day for so long i understand her bulimia very well but i'll never truly understand how it feels and that kills me. I tell her everyday how beautiful, amazing and perfect she is but in the last two months it has gotten really bad, shes threatened to break up with me many times these last few months but i know shes not really mad at me shes just crying out for help. I have done everything i can think of to help her, i wouldnt allow her to do it for a while and i know she didnt do it behind my back because i was with her all day, she actually stopped doing it completly for two months but she HATED me during that time so i know thats not the answer, ive tried letting her do it and supplying her with the diet pop and food but i know thats not the answer either. Our situation is a lot more complicated because she is still in high school for one more year and i graduated last year so she still lives at home, her grades have been suffering recently and her dad told her today that until they come up she cant see me and all that, we've seen eachother every single day since we've known eachother and it's going to be really tough on both of us. I guess my question is what else if anything can i do to help her? ive suggested therapy but shes too afraid to tell her dad about it so i dont think that will happen anytime soon. please help!!!!!!!
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replied December 6th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
If you found out your girlfriend was drinking just a little rat poison every night when nobody was watching you'd put a stop to it instantly. Bulimia cripples the girls it doesn't kill. It doesn't happen fast or even all at once. It is a slow gradual grind until humans are destroyed by the illness. The longer it goes on the more damage it does. When it starts during puberty is is unbelievably destructive. If she's tried to stop and failed then it will take more than an intervention to stop this pattern of self-abuse. She needs professional help and as a minor that means her parents need to be involved. You need to inform her parents now before she does more damage to herself. You can do so annonamously if possible but you have to make sure she gets professional assistance in resolving the issues that compel her to binge and purge.
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replied December 7th, 2009
well her parents do know but they refuse to believe it and think it's just a "stage" ive talked to them both many times about it as has she and they both just refuse to believe she has a real problem even though it's been going on for four years, and i have tried to stop it but you dont understand that it is a disease as well as a mental problem, i can tell her no all day but in the end it wont work, it's just like telling a drug addict to stop doing drugs.
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replied December 7th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
That's why she needs treatment and rehabilitation. She has a compulsion that is supported by a self-esteem disorder likely complicated by other problems from what you're describing. If her parents can't be motivated to save their child's life start looking for public organizations that will assist with her treatment, intervention groups or teen health organizations local to you. If need be make her parents help her. Advise them that they can authorize help for her daughter or you can contact CPS and have them authorize the care that their daughter needs.
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