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Help with mother in law issues!!!

I've been married almost 7 years. My mil and I have never really gotten along. She is in her mid 50s and lives her life as what one would describe as an indigent. She refuses to respect me as her sons wife, her grandchildren a mother, or a person. I have gone out of my way (totally against my husbands wishes... It's caused us conflict) to be kind to her and hep her out, yet she continues to avoid me to the extent I don't exist. She has never really had a relations with our kids, who are 14 and 7. At the beginning she refused to accept my child from a previous relationship and was not supportive at all of my husband adopting her. She has always treated them differently and even played favorites with the other grandkids. If we don't financially support her, she wants nothing to do with us and chooses to only partake in the grandkids lives of those that support her life style. We are trying to have another baby and its eating me up that our lives are like this. My husband is the type who will write you off in a heartbeat if you are a negative influence and non productive member of society. I on the other hand, have a hard time with this. I know he is right, Bc ultimately she is a grown woman who continues to make bad choices for herself and in return it affects the future generations in our family, BUT it is so aggervating and disappointing our family is like this. It would be one thing if she would just disappear from our lives, but she keeps popping up only when she needs something. She spreads rumors and lies about how we treat her and makes herself out to be a wonderful person who is being bullied. She claims to love our kids, announces it to the world, test she has nothing to do with them. With a baby in the works, what should I do? Extend the olive branch AGAIN, and go against my husbands wishes or cut her off as to not enable her dependent and non productive way of life?
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replied May 28th, 2016
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Hi B3tty: Live your own life...You cannot nor will never be able to solve her inner problems...Sometimes it is better to move on rather than keep going back to rehash past problems...Difficult yes, as you feel guilty but your life is with your family...You cannot live nor change hers...

My best advice would be to accept the things that you cannot change and change the things you can...Honey, you tried...Move on...I send you all my love...You see I, too, have gone this path in life...Take care...

Caroline...
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replied July 11th, 2016
Hi B3tty, I have read your post. I totally agree with Caroline, If you can't change the things, Accept those things and move on in your life.
Thanks!!
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