Medical Questions > Pregnancy Forum > Single and Pregnant Forum

he doesnt want to be in me or the babys life

a feel so alone. he said he doesnt wanna be in me or the babys life but he will for the babys sake.. a really want a dad for my baby coz i havnt got 1 and i know how it feels. am soo annoyed and feel as if av got no1. he doesnt even sound interested in the baby. i always have to text him he never contacts me. i am 20 years old and 34 weeks pregnant i only got back in contact with him 2 days ago after nearly 8 month ov tryin to get in contact. i feel so un loved and lonely please help Very Happy sharon xx
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replied January 13th, 2010
Full time undergraduate student, pregnant and single.
Hi Sharon,

I'm 23 and a full time undergraduate student pregnant with a boyfriend(27 years old) of a 3 and 1/2 years relationship that has never had a full time job for longer than 6 months and has always been on benefits the rest of time. at the same time during our relationship i managed to finish 3 full time years at college, take a gap year during which i had 2 jobs ( a full time one plus a part time one) and go into univeristy in september 2009 to do a corporate events and conference mgmt course for 3 years, but now im pregnant with this person i love but that has not ambition to biuld a better future and that will not be able to help me n give me security..he seems to only promise things rather than gettin on with them.
I'm only 2 months gone but i know it's really difficult to have a baby with someone that won't do anything for u.
in my case im goin to wait until my baby is born and see if he has changed is attitude at all by that point, if not, i will end our relationship and do it as a single mother and the baby will only have my surname.
I feel sorry for u for the fact uve had to go through the whole pregnancy without him by ur side, but i must asure u, having someone on ur side that is only capable of promising rather than actually doing things isn't good either.
sometimes i think, 'if all my love and me being pregnant with his baby, isnt enough for him to stop being lazy and selfish...what is?'
ive fought for him for so long, helped him (a lot) financially and morally and even so, he hasnt used any of my help.
even so the best piece of advice i can give u is to never give up on ur future and ur child's Smile i'm intending to finish my first year at uni in may and the baby is due in august and then either taking a year out or trying not to take any time off uni even lookin after my small baby, but no matter what i do, im determined not to give up on my degree because it will allow me to provide for my baby the best way i can!
dont give up darling, the father to ur child will be the one that comes along and loves you and at the same time wants to bring ur child up with u Smile
susana xxx
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replied December 27th, 2011
We are in the exact same boat. I am so depressed and lonely. I had my son and I love him but I'm constantly stressed and have no one to help me. I tried contacting the baby's father and at first he sounded so excited except everytime I offered to take him over to his house or to come visit him he always made up some excuse to not see him. He won't sign any forms and I'm having so much trouble with child support enforcement and the aid just isn't enough. Now when I try to contact my son's father, he has whatever girl he's with this week text or call me back usually calling me pathetic or stupid so I had to stop trying to reach him. There's nothing we can do and I can't guarantee the feelings will go away and everything will get better but the most you can do is try to stay busy. I enrolled myself in school and have been applying for jobs like mad. It temporarily keeps my mind off of the lonliness, sleeping babies don't make good company. I hope all is well for you
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replied September 30th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and i understand your concern.Keep calm. He might be busy or doing this for you and your baby health and life.Think positive, soon he will be back to you. And if more intense desire then sex toy can help.


I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Khan
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