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Having trouble finding a real relationship

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I was in a abusive marriage for 13 years I finally got a divorce a couple of years ago. Since my divorce I seem to keep hooking up with guys who are by polar. I don't seek these kind of guys out. That wouldn't be a problem but, its an emotional roller coaster with the ones i've dated. This last one gets mad and wont come around or speak to me for a few days and then show up as if nothing had ever happened. He has gone as far as call and leave mean messages on my phone then claim to not remember doing it. His sister told me that this is common with him and he have episodes like that sometimes. I really can't handle this but, I really care about him. i'm wondering if there is something wrong with me and thats why I keep attracting this kind of guy. I'm thinking of just not dating anyone because I cannot take another bad relationship and can't find a good one. Do anyone have some suggestions for me.
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replied August 21st, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Bipolar disorder is incredibly rare, less than 1% of people have it. Even if you were dating people inside of a psych ward it would be bizarre to date more than two people with Bipolar Disorder in a row. I don't think you're making these men Bipolar, it seems like the most likely answer is that you're misinterpreting their actions.

Invest yourself in people with good communication skills, even if they don't seem like good prospects. They'll make it a lot easier for you to transition from your marriage to your single life.

Also avoid notions like real relationships, real men, or real love. Your romantic life is going to be as real as you make it. Thinking that there is some mythical realness out there that you have to find is going to prevent you from finding the real happiness that is right in front of you..
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replied August 21st, 2009
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It must be bizzare then both guys have been diagnosed with the disorder and are on medication to treat it. I haven't believed in mythical things in years. I don't judge a man by the way he looks.I gave up those selfish ways along time ago.
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replied August 22nd, 2009
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finding a good man is like finding a needle in a haystack. your question is what millions of what women ask?
Since you gotten out of an abusive relationship you should what out for the type of guys that you are attracted to.
1. take your time in getting to know a guy by conversation. if you see a red flag, run away, dont waste your time.
this is a mistake that a lot of women make, rush into a relationship, they find out about the guy afterwords.
be upfront in telling the guy what you want and interested it.
i've noticed if i want to be in a relationship and date a guy who doesnt.....it usually dont have a good ending.
be very picky when talking to and dating guys.
if he's not the one for you pull away.
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replied August 22nd, 2009
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I agree with ServiceU, be more selective, get to know the men before jumping into a relationship with them. Hey, if you set higher standards for yourself you will find a good guy. You just have to get through all the jerks to find the gem. Nobody is perfect, but there is somebody out there that will make you happy.
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replied October 5th, 2009
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Thanks for the advice I will really use it tired of all the jerks.
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replied October 6th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
i agree with what everyone has said you need to just get out there and take a good look around and go on a few date with the guy first before you commit to anything good luck..jenny
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replied November 8th, 2009
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I have always gone on more than just a couple of dates before committing to anything. I think my problem is I'm attracted to the bad boy type but, thats not the type you want to have a relationship with.
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replied November 11th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Agreed well in that case maybe changed your perspective on what you want out of the relationship..good luck...Jenny
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replied November 12th, 2009
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I don't think anyone should go into a relationship not wanting much into it. That would assure failure if your not putting your all into it or expecting other person to just only put a half ass try in it. I would rather be alone than to change my standards on what I want. I don't think anyone should settle for less than what they feel they deserve.
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