Hello everybody, next tuesday I'm going to a doctor for a test on whether I have a bipolar disorder or winter depression perhaps. To give details, yes I fill in most of the symptons, now that I have given up alcohol I feel even worse and my school work is really suffering under this. Theres one thing however, I usually feel depressed in the autumn and winter periods, but I do have these manic periods a lot in the summer, the depression periods have been aggravating with every year and I cant imagine what they will do next year.

Either way the last weeks two weeks I have been very depressed without any reasons, yesterday I was even browsing on the web for painless ways to commit suicide.

This stuff really scares me, I dont want to commit suicide if I think about it with a clear mind, I even wanted to kill my father, whom I hate but would never kill but just ignore instead, before taking my own life. I would never do this stuff, because my mom loves us both and I wouldn't want to cause her any sorrow, but nobody in this house supports me. My mom is a bit odd and she doesnt believe in things like depression even though she is a pharmacist and I cant talk with my father and brother. And I'm scared of the possible medication as well, its side effects let a shiver go trough my spine.

Anyway, how do I have to deal with stuff like this? Because I'm scared of having a heavy depression moment when Im like in my moms pharmacy for example.
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replied November 22nd, 2008
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Hello nation,

Thanks for sharing about your concerns. I do think that perhaps pharmaceutical medications might be able to help you in the short-term. I'm glad that you're seeking help and it sounds like you're taking the right steps. I'd suggest that you follow up your medical appointment by meeting with a psychologist and look into cognitive behavioral therapy, which can really help with issues like depression.

Either way, you are not alone...and we're here to support you on eHealth Forum.
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replied November 25th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Nation, welcome to the forum. I am sorry to hear that you are struggling so much right now. You have taken the first steps toward feeling better by acknowledging the problem and seeking medical intervention. The process can take some time but I encourage you to stay the coarse. Medications can and do help. It may seem overwhelming but you have lots of support here. Feel free to ask about anything.

I am in agreement with Rooted in regards to cognitive behavioral therapy. I feel that a person needs the chemical (medication) intervention first and then seek therapy to learn coping skills. These skills will help you to deal more effectively with your moods.

Let us know how that evaluation with the doctor went. You are both courageous and strong. Stay well and update us.
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replied November 25th, 2008
Thanks rooted and antigone, so today I went to the doctor (no better way to spend my birthday) and he told me to go visit a shrink, so I guess my mom was right when she said that I'm getting insane.

Either way he also told me that medication is a last resort and that things like light therapy are the first to be used, I just hope that I can go on that way cause the medication sounds awful.
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replied November 26th, 2008
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Shrinks are great! As long as you click with her/him. If you don't feel comfortable after a few sessions, I suggest that you look for another psychiatrist. This is a very personal process, and you really want to receive the best care from someone who is both professionally qualified AND connects with you. Please update us after you make your first visit!
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replied November 27th, 2008
Finding a good Doc
Like rooted said...you need to "click" with your doc for it to work well.

I had to go through a few docs before I found some that I was more comfortable with. I had some bad experiences, but it's all about being able to sort through it and make a judgment call.

Funny story. I went in to see a psychiatrist one day....around the first month we figured out what my diagnosis was. The meeting started pretty well, and for about 30 minutes he asked me a lot of questions and seemed competent. Then he stopped me and said he had a great way to help me. He pulled out a small booklet (cheaply made photocopies in a binder) and explained this was his own 10 step process to getting better with BP. I took a look at it and was not impressed: God, redemption, and 150$ donation were prominently featured on the first page. He then told me I should study it and we would discuss it the next week. He handed me the booklet and told me to take it home. By this point, I thought he was a quack and I knew I would never go see him again. At the end of the session, as I was about to leave, he told me the booklet was 150$ payable up front. I laughed, tossed the booklet onto the table, and walked out. Not only was he a quack, he was a money-grabbing fraud of a quack. Needless to say, I never went to see him again.
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replied November 27th, 2008
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nation
nation wrote:
Thanks rooted and antigone, so today I went to the doctor (no better way to spend my birthday) and he told me to go visit a shrink, so I guess my mom was right when she said that I'm getting insane.

Either way he also told me that medication is a last resort and that things like light therapy are the first to be used, I just hope that I can go on that way cause the medication sounds awful.


well you sound hopeful to me so that is a wonderful sign =) you're not insane, you have an illness. but, i also understand where you're coming from. keep fighting... you're a real trooper! there are lots of people on this forum that can relate to you so you are definitely not alone =) peace puzzld
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replied December 8th, 2008
but why does applying take so long?? I applied 2 weeks ago and am still waiting here, meanwhile I kinda wristed myself, this is going wrong god i love bureaucracy.,,.
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