Medical Questions > Mental Health > PTSD Forum

Girlfriend Lied about Birth Control to get My Sex

My ex-gf 3 years ago lied about being on birth control as well as having emergency contraceptives in her possession. I was comfortable enough not wearing a condom and we had sex a total of 5 times in my basement with 3 of those times were unprotected. I tried the "withdrawal method" 3 times, but there were times she and I were having such fast sexual intercourse that I did not withdrawal (pull-out) of her in time, and I accidentally got some of my fluid inside her. She never got pregnant, and this was 3+ years ago, but I am still traumatized emotionally from how I "Could have been a father" but am not. I have been mentally beating myself up, and have felt guilty I ever trusted her and did not wear a condom every time, because I am so lucky I don't have a baby to take care of that I wasn't expecting.

I went into a psychiatric ward voluntarily one time for this, and tried to receive help. The medicines were Luvox and Risperidone, but I didn't like either, and ended up quitting both in time and switching to other meds.

How can I help manage these PTSD experiences? I tried E.D.M.R. therapy 6 times and did not find it to be effective for me.

Some days, I feel so guilty and ashamed of what I did I sometimes think that maybe I should have had a baby with her so that way I could have felt and underwent the punishment I "sort of" feel I deserve. I thought we were having protected sex with backup available, but after a night of sexual intercourse when I ejaculated deep inside her, she broke out and told me she was lying to get me to have sexual intercourse with her WITHOUT me having a condom on.

How can I move on from this and learn to not beat myself up whenever the thought comes to my head? I need help and badly!
Did you find this post helpful?

User Profile
replied February 26th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
As you have not responded to EDMR, I would suggest you to have trauma focused CBT and hypnotherapy.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Did you find this post helpful?
Quick Reply
Must Read
Birth control is helpful in preventing pregnancy. Need to know more about birth control? Start here to learn more about popular methods of birth control....
You have many birth control options. Each works differently. What are the choices and what should you consider in order to help you make your decision? ...
Each method of birth control comes with risks to your health. What are the general problems you could encounter?...
DISCLAIMER: "Ask a Doctor" questions are answered by certified physicians and other medical professionals. For more information about experts participating in the "Ask a Doctor" Network, please visit our medical experts page. You may also visit our PTSD , for moderated patient to patient support and information.

The information provided on eHealth Forum is designed to improve, not replace, the relationship between a patient and his/her own physician. Personal consultation(s) with a qualified medical professional is the proper means for diagnosing any medical condition.