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Feeling very bad, do I need professional help?

I'm going through a personal struggle. I don't even know how to label what I'm experiencing but I know it's messing up my life.
I'm m 17 so that's probably a factor. I've never had any really good friends. I do have a family but my parents and I don't really have an emotional connection so I can't talk to them about this stuff. Even if I did they'd probably dismiss it as nothing. Anyway I'm pretty sure I've been depressed for a while and now I've moved and I feel worse than ever. I'm almost positive I have social anxiety and am just awkward all the time so I've successfully established the reputation of a friendless loser in my new school (I don't blame people for thinking it btw, I agree with them). I have no idea how to approach people or make small talk or anything like that.I'm very introverted so I don't actually mind that much not having good friends. I just feel guilty about it and I'm very anxious at lunch for example when I have no one to sit with. I sometimes even start sweating very much and it makes my time in school really difficult. Obviously I make sure to have at least a couple awkward encounters every week and I beat myself up for it for months to come.
I've always been smarter than average and now in my new school people are as smart as I am, and smarter. I like being the smartest, it might sound egoistical, I don't know if you ever felt like this. Anyway, I have no motivation for studying, I'm very lazy. My performance in school isn't terrible but it would be so much better if I could get myself to study more because really I procrastinate everything to maximum. Other students in my class have better results because they obviously study a lot more. I know I'm not more stupid than them, I should perform as well as them if not better but I can't because of my laziness which may be caused by my depression. All this makes me feel dumb and worthless and I just simply feel like s**t because of it. And the worst thing is that I like learning stuff and now I can't even make myself do that, it all just seems like so much effort so most of my days I waste time in front of my computer doing absolutely nothing productive. Just preparing my bag has become a hugely difficult task. I'm wasting my life self loathing and I can't help it. Needless to say my self confidence is about as low as it can get. I I feel so hopeless and it scares me that I won't be able to change and will be stuck feeling like crap for the rest of my life.
I have feelings of sadness, anxiety, guilt,anger. I sometimes get short attacks like when I'm just doing something mundane like putting my shoes on everything suddenly feels grey, rainy and hopeless. I feel dizzy and have difficulty breathing. Is this a sign of anxiety disorder?
I often think about death as well. I don't actually consider committing suicide, I'd never do that to my family, but I can't help thinking would it be better if I was never born.

Anyway, I know I have to start acting on changing my life but I'm just stuck in these negative feelings without the ability to do what I know I have to do. Is all this normal teenage stuff or do I need professional help? I find myself just wanting to be a normal person like my classmates I envy so much just for being ordinary people. Is there a way I can fix myself without seeking help because I really don't want to talk to my parents about this, that's a whole another story, doesn't matter.
So please if you can help, I sure could use advice.
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replied February 22nd, 2014
I am very sorry for what you are going through, I myself went through that all through high school, the anxiety and fear of coming to school every day. For some reason everyone had an opinion about me and I was unable to change it. Eventually I just realized that what matters is what you think about yourself. What helped me is constantly doing positive mental talk and keep I myself positive, it can really change your outlook. The next thing I did was found one or two people I connected with and made an effort to be friends with them. Having one or two people you can count on to have your back and be able to talk about how you feel with is very nice. I know the feeling you have. I was unable to tell my parents that the reason I didn't try as hard and got b's and was always reading my books is because deep down I was a mess. But after I found my two people to hang with things gradually got better. I was more outgoing, had more confidence and was able to tell my parents about how I was feeling. (One of the hardest talks of my life, but by far worth it).
I am now a freshman in college and love my life, I met all sorts of new people and left the place that held so many bad memories for me. I hope this helps and trust me even though it may not seem like it's possible things get better. I wish you the best of luck and remember our minds our amazing things and if you tell yourself things are better and things are good the mind can manifest this.

Good luck Smile and stay strong, it's well worth it

Ps: talking to a counselor is also helpful, worked for me being able to talk through how I felt. Also hormones can play a big factor in this as well.
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