feeling surreal and horrible thoughts

hi im 23 yrears old and have suffered with anxiety/ocd for 4 years now. it started off with health anxiety when i was 19, i was contantly worried i have a brain tumour. i got over this when i realised it was symtoms of anxiety. more recently though i have been suffering with the horible thoughts you could imagine about doing horrible things to my daughter, or if in fact i like children. i would never harm anyone and am soo scared about these thoughts incase they are me. i feel so surreal sometimes it feels like i am going mad, i really dont know what to do anymore. i know that i would rather die than harm my own child so why do i feel like this? i contantly feel like im not me/ in a dream and its really freaking me out. i get horrible panic attacks thinking i mite actually go mad and act on my thoughts. i contantly count/look at certain things to stop the thoughts and try and stop them comeing true. even now my mind is telling me im a horrible person and im lying to myself. it feels so realand im so scared. iv had cbt in the oast for the health anxiety but there is a six month waiting list at the moment. does anyone else suffer like this and am i normal? please help