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Feeling so depressed over someone ?

hi im 18 and single life love partying bla bla bla..
for a few months now i have been talking to this wonderful woman i met through some friends, texting calling, meeting for drinks, the whole lot. And recently we went out on xmas eve , got absolutely trollyed and we kissed. But i know that she is together with somebody and has kids, and shes also 31 yrs old. Since christmas eve i have been thinking into it alot and getting really down over it Sad im just wandering do i look into things to much and i think i fall for people too easily. ive been trying to send her messages over facebook in my status but she keeps replying whats wrong and i dunno what to say :s . i really do not know how to get over this and dont know what to do about it, cos i really do like this woman Sad
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replied January 1st, 2011
As simple and cruel as it seems, you should break up with her because that story can't possibly have a happy end. In fact, if she already has someone, plus kids, I don't know what she's doing with an 18-year-old guy. Does she know that you like her? I suppose she does, if you two kissed, and been around meeting for drinks, practically dating. So, if she was a fair person, she'd try to cool down the situation upon noticing your feelings. She certainly wouldn't manipulate your feelings in the way she obviously does. Think about that.

I fall for people easily too. Wrong ones usually. As I may encounter a nice and pretty girl that would (in theory) suit me, she doesn't attract me, while I often fall for an externally beautiful girl, however with questionable character and personality. Over time you realize it's mostly chemistry, infatuation, some sort of an illusion actually. I sometimes remember my first crush from years ago, when I couldn't feel my legs in her presence, and I'd be hit by cold sweat, and fire in my stomach. We weren't meant to be together, at that time I wasn't sure whether I'd ever get over her. Today when I look at her, I don't understand how I could have fallen for her. What I wanted to say by this little monologue is that you are currently blinded by infatuation which conflicts with your rational mind. And don't let it win. Cut the connections, stop seeing her, delete her from fb friends, it will hurt, but you'll eventually succeed, and next time you'll have more luck. You're 18, life awaits you.

Good luck and I hope my opinion helped.
MFish
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replied January 1st, 2011
Just like to say thanks for responding Smile
im not in a relationship with her, we where just talking quite alot and going out, i saw it as getting close but im not sure what she was thinking.

and since xmas eve things have gone abit quiet, im not texting her and shes not texting me! i just dunno if to say something or bring something up cos i do need my dvds back lol. and what you said about deleting her, is that the only way cos i really wanna get over this but in the same way i really do like her and its really playing on my mind all day everyday Sad
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replied January 2nd, 2011
Well, deep down you know you want to get over this, so you should do so. I suggest that you talk to her and tell her that the things went out of hand, that you developed feelings you shouldn't have, and that you should therefore stop seeing each other (take your dvds back btw Wink ). She should understand and respect your decision.

Then, make a positive change to your life - take up a new activity, meet some new people, play sports (sport is a good natural antidepressant), the thoughts of her will still be coming back to you but ignore them, try to divert your attention to something else, in other words keep yourself busy. That's the tactic I used in the situation I mentioned before, it took about a month, but it was successful in the end. When you get out of it, you'll think you'll never let something like that happen to you again. But it will Smile

Stay positive and happy New Year!
MFish
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