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Feeling pathetic trying to cut

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I just found this site and I'm glad there's something like this. I'm fifteen and I've recently found that I don't take pleasure in life as I used to. I cry a lot for no reason and I'm overall just depressed. Today especially I was feeling down, even just the little things set me off. Such as when I was trying to correct my sister on her piano playing, and her spazzing out on me for it. After a little incident like that occuring, with both my parents siding with her and making me feel trapped I went into my room and locked the door. I turned on some of my depressing music and just sat there crying. After a bit of thought I got my pocket knife, and put it against my skin. I know that most people who cut themselves find that they cannot stop but I couldn't help it, I was just feeling so alone that I needed to do something. I tried cutting but i didn't put enough pressure on, which made me feel pathetic and more detirmined to cut myself. I made a very small incision but I was crying too hard to do any more. I don't want to cut myself. I just feel like there's no other way for me to feel anything. Please help find something else to help me feel better without harming my body. I just feel at the moment there's nothing else I can do.
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replied December 5th, 2010
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Hey!! I really feel you. You sound so much like me at that age and I got through it. You can too. Do you have AIM? IGotchuLove is mine if you need to talk.
What are some of your favorite bands? Try some positive music that's helped me so much. Take your negative emotions out on art. Keep a journal, write, draw.
Something I do is write to God. It sounds different but it's something I've been doing that really helps. Faith does a lot.
Know that you're not alone. Look through this site for more advice and people you can relate to.

Go for a walk, step outside, punch a pillow. I'm glad to hear you say (or read) you don't want to cut yourself. Feel free to message me or IM me if you want.
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Users who thank LiftmeUp for this post: MoonBeamz 

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replied December 5th, 2010
I totally agree, dont give up, you got so much to live for, this is just a phase... many of us passed this stage at your age. Hang on, have patience, find the hobbies and people you realy like, dont spend much time on the internet, put your favourite songs on your headphones and take a walk, write whatever comes in your mind, and find some books you are interest to (i propose The Alchemist from Paulo Coelho)..Usually this kind of moods shows that you are not shallow and naive, you have deep meaningful feelings but you need to get them out, art is the best way to express yourself, you dont have to be a picasso or el greco, just put your dreams, thoughts, feelings on the canvas or a piece of paper, no one will judge Wink Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience, if you are not athletic, the gym will life your mood up! Smile Also, faith, first believe in yourself and then if you like and have it in you, believe beyond yourself! if your family practise their faith ask from the local priest, pastor etc for spiritual guide, i hope they can help too. Learn a language you like! i can teach you modern greek or ancient if you want! Wink Listen to meaninfull lyrics!!!powerfull music to fight every day your way to happiness!Smile And remember, you are not alone! the whole world is around you Wink
feel free whenever you want to speak, im from Greece, Christos is the name, a Theologian at the Aristotle University of Thessaloniki. take care!!!
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replied December 6th, 2010
Please dont hurt yourself. tomorrow is another day and God does love you!
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replied December 7th, 2010
Hi I was a cutter up until 2.5 years ago. I hated my life I was suicidal I just wanted to die but thankfully my mum had had a baby and she was only 1.5-2 years and I loved her so much that I didn't want her not to grow up without a sister so I was unable to go through with it.
I bought a journal and when I was so hysterical crying and wanting to cut I got out my journal and I would write down whatever it was that had upset me. It might have been something silly in hindsight but at the time it had really bothered me. Or if I was hating myself I would write down everything I hated about myself.
That is how I stopped cutting, but I still have my days where I want to hurt myself, even last night I hated myself but by keeping this book and writing it down then referring back to it a few days later I have learnt that cutting is not the answer and I don't need to punish myself. You will be okay it will just take time and belief that you will get through this Smile Kelly
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