Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Feeling of hopelessness

So yeah...I'm 21, have never been in a relation and I don't see it happening in the next 100 years.
For almost 10 years I've been mobbed at school for being rather ugly and shy etc. That sure left it's mark, even though I worked hard on myself and I'm actually fine with my look and overall appearance now. The thing is, when you've been hated and isolated so much for so long, you kind of lock yourself into a big bubble and never get out again. At college I have a bunch of friends, I look ok, many people find my quite funny and entertaining, yet I never really think of myself as good enough. I have the impression most people just see me as jerk who only exists to amuse them a bit. Outside of college I just sit at home in front of my PC, it's pretty sad when you get so attached to that thing because you don't have anything else to do with your life. I'd love to be in a relation with someone...I'm so sick of being alone all day. But I don't really see it happening, I never feel good enough, I'm never brave enough to start anything, just sitting there in my little bubble.
The obvious answer would be to just jump over my own shadow and risk something, but honestly, I can't, I tried and failed just so often.

Anyone else having this feeling of hopelessness, knowing that life wont go anywhere for you? I'd like to hear some other peoples experiences with it.
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replied December 24th, 2009
You gotta start being friends with lots of cute girls and not even think about them as potential mates. That way you can get comfortable being around girls and you will see how easy most of them are. Then you can confidently start hitting on them.
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replied December 24th, 2009
Yeah I thought that much...but since I study computer science, I only really know like 2 girls, the rest consists of boys...meeting more girls is only possible by going to a disco or pub or w/e, which I don't do, don't want, don't dare...thats pretty much my problem.
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replied December 24th, 2009
Ah I see. Well personally I have met far more women at parks, grocery stores, concerts etc... than at bars. I am a recovered alcoholic so the bar scene doesn't work out for me anymore. It sounds like you got a lot going for you but no one gets to see that if you don't show them. If your nervous about approaching a random girl then start small and do some passive flirting, like glances and such. 9 out of 10 times I know how a girl will react to my hitting on her just by how she looks at me.
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replied December 24th, 2009
Yeah, thanks. I think I'll manage somehow, just talking about it already helps a bit. Smile
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replied December 24th, 2009
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do you have an account with myspace and facebook? this is away to meet people or just find friends you can chat with. i have only a few friends but a lot of online friends. so if i m upset about something and my friends isnt around, i can count on my online friends for their positive advice
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replied December 24th, 2009
Cool glad to hear it. Not to disregard your suggestion Service, but he is studying computer science and doesn't have much prior experience with girls, so using the internet is a big mistake, you gotta get used to interacting in the flesh, then even if you get shot down you are still learning.
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replied December 24th, 2009
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that's fine, it's good for him to get different kinds of advice, so he can figure out what will work for him.
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