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feeling guilty, sexually active but still a virgin

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I'm so worried and stressed because I'm sexually active (kisses ,hugs, licking breast and rub*ing vagina) but still a virgin because i never put in a c*ck and never bleed ?, I really need to know if this will have any side effects on my body? am i really still a virgin ? we promised not to do any of this again except after marriage.
I also feel so h*rny , i always give myself a rub , watch p*rn all the time and i'm so ashamed of my self because i'm only 16 and i can't stop it.
I feel that I really need my boyfriend to hug me when i'm alone more than any thing else ( rubb*ng , kisses and this things )so i can feel safe and warm but this is against my religion and i can't do this in public in my community,even we won't find a private place, any suggestions?, i know there's a lot of non sense in my words but if he just hug me all the time i think i may stop because i need nothing but his kindness but also he doesn't know anything about this bad things i do, I feel so guilty please help me.
I wanna make the first time sex (that i'm saving it for my marriage) very special but I don't know what to do ,i'm totally freaking out . will this things make me numb because i feel like i'm losing my feelings and if i stop doing this crazy things ,will i feel the first time pleasure?

I'm so out of control and i really need help
thank you for your time Smile
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First Helper zenga

replied April 21st, 2012
I'm 17 and not a virgin. I don't think watching porn or masturbating is shameful. And wanting someone is just a normal part of being human. You want to save yourself for marriage? good for you. Masturbate as much as you want Sex will still feel amazing when your time comes.
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replied November 15th, 2012
I am a 23 year old virgin and I'm sexually active and never had a boyfriend since birth. I'm also the same as you I watch porn since I got a laptop when I was 19. But when I was even younger I look for bold movies on TV.

I'm so desperate to have a boyfriend and sometimes I wanted to experience sex too but even though I'm sexually active I know if one day in the future I will have a partner I will control myself not to have sex unless I'm married to him.

Its a temptation we can't resist that's why I imagine myself having sex with the people I only know like my father/brother/cousin/my driver/the security guard because I don't know any boys only them.

My parents are super strict by the way so I don't have any exposure outside the house right after College and I'm working in my parents office without any employees but me. So my life is a living hell because I don't have social life they keep me locked through their doors everytime my friends invite me to the beach.

Your so lucky you have a boyfriend at 16.

I don't even know if I could get married someday with this overprotective parents beside me. Asian parents with this kind of culture and paranoid of killers, rapist or kidnappers out there kept me from going out is such a pain in the ass just sitting and waiting for a miracle hoping that just one man notice me.
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