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Family problems as a result of my sex life

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I am moving in 2 months in with my boyfriend and his family .
My mom already said i was allowed to , im 16 years old .
But for some odd reason my mom isnt trying to become my friend , she is making me feel like crap , she is going to my sisters more , than they are younger then me .
ive been getting called a wh**e from my sister because i had sex , and im not sure what to do , i told my mom , and she was like dont worry about i will talk to them about it , mean while she didnt .
I really want to move away like now though , only because my mom and my family are mad at me i guess ?

I want to know why my sisters are calling me a [tramp] ?
I dont get paid to have sex with my boyfriend.
I just need someone to ansdwer me about this , does this ever happen to you at all ?
Well if if does dont worry im going threw it with you , and it sucks.
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replied December 1st, 2009
Well, it really depends on how old your sisters are. It could be they're just immature, or it could be they think you are making a mistake moving in with your boyfriend and are trying to make you feel bad. In fact, that may be why your mom is also not being very supportive.

How long have you been dating your boyfriend? What age did you first have sex? How many people have you dated before this? I'm not asking you to answer those, but think about the answers to those questions. If, for example you've only been dating your boyfriend for a month or so, are already having sex with him, and planning to move in with him, that may be what's causing a negative reaction from your family. In that case they'd think you were too young, and cause your sisters to call you a "prostitute".

Obviously I'm not say that's how your relationship is, but I've seen a similar issue happen to my best friend. Has your relationship with your sisters always been negative? What about with your mom?

If I told mine I was moving in with my boyfriends family, she'd say yes, but she'd be fairly blunt in saying that I was making what she thought to be a stupid decision. Maybe this is something your mom might think? Try taking a few minutes to sit down with her or your sisters and talking about it. Ask what they think. You may find that they disapprove and that's whats causing them to treat you badly.
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replied December 1st, 2009
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It happened to me when I was 17. I was having sex with my bf. I think it's morally inacceptable to have pre-marital sex and considering that you are too young. People will tend to hate what you are doing considering that it is a sin (if you believe in God).

If your sister or anyone calls you a prostitute even if you are not, it just signifies that what you are doing is not right in the eyes of many. Is your siter younger than you? Then maybe she is disgusted with pre-marital sex especially you are still young. It is not suitable or normal for your age to have sex yet.

I learned that all my parents' advice were really true about pre-marital sex when I reached the right age.
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replied December 2nd, 2009
EeryandRuu - Thanks for reading what I wrote .
Im 16 and yes we did have sex , and ive only been with him for about 11 months now , but when i move out it will be a year or so .. And my mom told me that she would help me , its just my sisters that are bugging me , they are going into my room now , and going thru anything that they can find , im not sure if its like a stage or anything ? And they stoped calling me a prostitute also , which im every glad of , but it really hurts about that they are still sotra doing it behide my back . They are now telling friends the onl reason why im moving up there is to get pregnant , and in my head im like umm .. why would i want to do that ? But when i move up with my boyfriend and his family , im going to be sharing a room with hes step sister , and little sister in the actting ( they are making it into a bedroom for us . ) So im not really sure why they are saying that .. So can yu please try and answer my question ? Why are they now going into my bedroom ? I dont go into theres .
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replied December 2nd, 2009
HotAsian09 - Yes my sisters are younger than me , im 16 - grade 11 and they are 14 - grade 9 . Im having troble with them staying out of my room tho .. they are going thru everything .
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replied December 3rd, 2009
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Pookie93
Pookie93 wrote:
HotAsian09 - Yes my sisters are younger than me , im 16 - grade 11 and they are 14 - grade 9 . Im having troble with them staying out of my room tho .. they are going thru everything .



How old is your bf? Just try to understand your sisters. They must not know your personal private doings in the first place. It's too inappropriate for them to know about sex because they are still very young.

Another reason is that since, premarital sex is not morally roght in the eyes of the soceity, you will really reep the consequence that they will disrespect you. Your mum has to educate them and let them understand about that matter and that they must respect you as their sister no matter what you are doing to yourself you are still their older sister and you deserve respect. Or at least do something to gain back their respect.
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replied December 3rd, 2009
Seems to me your sisters don't know the meaning of the word "privacy". Also, as a heads up: I'm not judging you on moving in with your boyfriend OR having premarital sex, since that's your decision and I'm glad to know that you have people that support you. I'm non-religious so I'm not here to judge anyone.
As for the going into your room thing, well its a bit tricky. Who knows why they're doing it? If you have stuff in there that they want (like clothes, a computer, etc) then that may be one reason. But if they're just snooping through your stuff to possibly get you in trouble? Then obviously you need to do something.

First, try telling them outright that you don't want them going into your room or your stuff when you're not around. Tell them that if they continue to do so, they'll get the exact same treatment from you. If they ignore this, give your mom a heads up that they're snooping. If that fails, do what they've been doing to you. Go into their room, shuffle through their stuff,and if they've been making a mess in your room, do the same to them.
If they come to you and complain, or tell your mom (that's why its important you let her know first so you don't get in trouble), simply say that you're returning the favour, and if they want YOU to stop, they'd better start respecting your space. While getting a lock is the easiest solution, at least be happy with the knowledge that soon you'll be moving, and they'll be out of your hair (and your room) for good.
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replied December 4th, 2009
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your sisters are just being sisters. an dont worry they will come round.

hotasian if u think having sex before marriage is bad, then keep it to ur self.
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replied December 5th, 2009
HotAsian09 - My boyfriend is 16 turning 17 ( Dec 9 )
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replied December 5th, 2009
EeryandRuu - Ive tryed everything what yu said before , and im not sure what to do anymore ..

I got a lock , but they took down my door , and again .. didnt get inshit .

Theyve been taking my stuff for the last past 4 years , so when i was in grade 7 they started to go into my room .

Could they be jelous ? My mom told me that they might be jelous of my stuff . But they have mostly all the same stuff as me , or even better stuff then me , so im not sure what to do .. ughh .. they make me so angry ! [GRR]

Hope yu can answer that quetion anyone ?
Im in help !!
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replied December 5th, 2009
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They are just kids. They need discipline but not from you. They won't listen to you because they don't respect you. Don't yell at them always and start to act maturely. Like I said do something to earn back their respect. And your mum must discipline them too.

The more you yell at them, the more they will rebel on you it's pointless.

I am the oldest child in my family and all my brothers and sisters respect me. They are more afraid of disrespecting me than my mum. When my mum could not handle them she will turn them to me and they behave.
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replied January 18th, 2010
Re: Pookie93
Quote:

Another reason is that since, premarital sex is not morally roght in the eyes of the soceity, you will really reep the consequence that they will disrespect you. Your mum has to educate them and let them understand about that matter and that they must respect you as their sister no matter what you are doing to yourself you are still their older sister and you deserve respect. Or at least do something to gain back their respect.


Hang on now. YOU BELIEVE PRE-MARITAL SEX IS NOT MORALLY RIGHT.

Dont try and stuff YOUR beliefs down everyone elses throat !!!!
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replied January 18th, 2010
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Re: Pookie93
psychocandy wrote:
Quote:

Another reason is that since, premarital sex is not morally roght in the eyes of the soceity, you will really reep the consequence that they will disrespect you. Your mum has to educate them and let them understand about that matter and that they must respect you as their sister no matter what you are doing to yourself you are still their older sister and you deserve respect. Or at least do something to gain back their respect.


Hang on now. YOU BELIEVE PRE-MARITAL SEX IS NOT MORALLY RIGHT.

Dont try and stuff YOUR beliefs down everyone elses throat !!!!


I'm sorry but I am not forcing people to believe me. I'm speaking this to be considered as another point of view. This is an open forum and we can express anything here. I'm talking about a general view not just some beliefs. I said this so that pookie93 can see things in another angle. We all know that people are here to hear thoughts from others. And 85% (at least) of the people here doesn't really follow advices. Our insights are just options, angles or points that can help them think. They are still the one to decide. And in the first place I said that: "PRE-MARITAL SEX IS NOT MORALLY RIGHT IN THE EYES OF SOCEITY" and DOESN'T MEAN THAT I BELIEVE IN THAT. Because I'm in to pre-marital sex too! I am not CONVINCING people or STUFFING my OWN BELIEFS in their THROAT.
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replied January 19th, 2010
HotAsian09,

OK. You have a fair point.

Out of interest, which society/geographical area are you talking about here? Not sure if its seen as that much of an issue in the society I live in.
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replied January 19th, 2010
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Hey psychocandy,
psychocandy wrote:
HotAsian09,

OK. You have a fair point.

Out of interest, which society/geographical area are you talking about here? Not sure if its seen as that much of an issue in the society I live in.


I think it's from my own culture. I'm from Asia and our culture is more conservative. In my country pre-marital sex is a disgrace. Once you are involved with it people will treat you like a prostitute! Even your relatives and family will disrespect you. But you have a point too. Say for example, in the states or in some western countries, virgin girls are some kind of a loser and they want to get rid of their virginity. While in Asia, girls who are virgin are treated as pure, decent and respect-worthy. In western countries, most guys wants to have sex with a girl with experience rather than a virgin. While in Asia it's the other way around. The more virgin and innocent you are the more fresher and the more most asian guys wants to get you laid.

From which country are you from? If you don't mind.
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