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Enabling and controlling mothers towards adult son

Mother controlling her adult son through manipulations and enabling. My boy...friend has been living with his mother for nearly the last seven years. He is 39, she is 69. She ove his entire adult life as requested him to come back home off and on to assit her in her life, be it help with financial issues, moving, her relationship issues, illness in family. By his early thirties she asked him to come back and live with her for a longer period because of an ailing sister of her's was dying of cancer, she needed his assistance in helping her, in addition to her own depression. Mean while he was seriously injured from a work incident that caused him to continue living there. Now she does everything for him, she's stole his ability to be a man away. They live in a unhealthy and unclean environment, he has attempted to clean it / organize it but she doesn't want him touching anything. To leave it for now...its years later and gotten worse. To the extent I think its made his and her own health worse. She's convinced him he is ultra special, unique in his issues. Its to the point his "healing" is taking not just months but years, he's utterly convinced he is ill when I believe she's manipulated him into an hypochondriac. He can't do things. If its not that its worrying about her, he can't leave her, she needs him. Its ridiculous. What makes a woman substitute her lack of a husband or companion for her son, to the extent of enabling him to live his life? I've known him for 21 years, he wasn't this way in the beginning? Could she be bipolar? He's obviously co-dependent.
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