Please, help me. My husband is using cocaine and I think he is not able to quit by himself.
He is all to me. I love him and want to do anything that can help him to get out of this situation. I told him to go to rehab but he said he did not want to lose his job.
Yesterday, he hit me on the head by his hand and dropped me off on the the street after we argued in the car. He has been changed, he is not the person who I met before... drug is taking over him..
I forgive him for what he did to me because I know he were not himself at that moment and because I love him.

Please, help me .I really need some advices . I do not know what to do, I cry mostly everyday and feel so depressed.

Help me, please. Thank you very much.
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replied February 28th, 2011
It sounds like he does need to go to rehab. If he talked to his boss about taking a month off and going on short term disability, would he be able to keep his job? Most places will be accommodating. And if he has insurance through work, it will probably pay for most of rehab. If not, the job isn't worth it anyway. A job is not worth losing yourself in an addiction. You can always find another job, even if it takes a little while. If he gets fired for this, he can collect unemployment until he finds another job. Bottom line - you can find another job, but you can't take back the things you do while on drugs. And you can't get a second chance at life if he were to die from this.

He may need an intervention to help convince him to go to rehab. Talk to his friends and family if possible and see if they feel the same way you do. And discuss with them what should be done to help him. An intervention with friends and family is much more affective than talking to him by yourself and telling him to get help. Talk to an interventionist if you can.

I know it's difficult, but if he doesn't want to go to rehab, you need to do whatever you need to do to protect yourself, your physical, mental and emotional states. If you leave him or tell him you will leave him if he doesn't get help, he may be more receptive to going to rehab. And stick to your word. Hopefully it won't come to that. But putting up with his behavior is just enabling him. Chances are that he will get help, even if you have to leave him for a little while. He may realize what he's going to lose if he doesn't go to rehab.

Drugs do change people and no, they are not themselves. But if you get hurt and depressed, you won't be able to help him as best you could. Don't let his addiction control your life. Even though you truly love him, you have to look out for yourself.

I've been an addict for 15 years, so I've gone through all of this, and rehab. I understand what you are going through because I put my family through the same pain. And I have a best friend who was an addict for years. I had to distance myself from her because I was afraid she was going to die and I would be crushed. She had to do the same thing with me a few years later, because she knew that if I wasn't ready to quit, there was nothing she could do to help. The addict has to want to quit, they need to hit their bottom (which is different for everybody) before they will be willing to get help. His bottom may be the intervention, or you leaving him.

Just do whatever you can to help him, and yourself. Good luck. And I'll be here if you ever want to talk.
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