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Hi guys....
So... I've been really depressed lately. I've done everything I can to help myself- medication, therapists, positive thinking, etc. etc....
But it's not helping at all. I can barely force myself out of bed in the morning. I can't eat, and I can't sleep. I'm so scared to go to school now. My best friend and I are harassed- sometimes even beat up- because we are part of the LGBT community. Now I know this is where the post will get some hate, but please bite your tongue. I get enough of it in real life- I don't need to over the internet as well. The ONLY person to really support me since I came out is Josh. Only a couple friends can stand to be near me now. (Thanks guys, if you are reading this.....) My friends and family are disgusted with me. My father disowned me. I haven't seen him for a year now.

Now for the part no one knows- or if I told them they don't believe me or just don't care.

I was raped by a boy at my school. Not once, but several times. I told a (ex) friend about it, and she laughed in my face. She and her posse haven't let me live it down, because "since I'm an attention *****, I must be loving this." I told my parents, but they don't seem to care one bit. The boy still follows me, doing what he can to get my attention. Things that sound normal to everyone else, but torment me.

Sorry for typing all of that. Had to get it off of my chest.

Things have gotten so bad, I've considered suicide. I attempted once, but I don't want to put Josh through that again. But it literally feels like I'm drowning.... I want to scream for help, but every time I try, I sink further and further down. I don't know what to do. I've run out of fight. I just want all of this to end. I want the pain to stop. I want the voices to go away. I want to stop fighting, and let the waves pull me under.
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replied October 1st, 2013
lifechurch.tv
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replied October 3rd, 2013
Well thanks for that, but I am not Christian. Razz
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replied October 3rd, 2013
Believe in the future. Commit to yourself. Strive for you and what you believe in. It is hard. It will be painful. You will be hurt. But what you have is one friend. One single friend that you can lean on. Remember that. So try, though hard it will be, to wake up in the morning and keep living, because if you stay in a stand still you wont find happiness. So instead of feeling others darkness, create your own joy. Live for your future, not from the past. I know that you can look at these words as nothing, being to you I am but a stranger, but know there are many others including myself that have been in that dark place. We just have to make the decision to, Keep Moving Forward.
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Users who thank efbl7 for this post: AnnieMoon 

replied October 4th, 2013
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I think you should go to the police
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replied October 8th, 2013
I went to the police with Josh. Basically, what I was told was it's an old case, and they won't bother pursuing it, since there's no evidence.
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replied October 8th, 2013
Inspiration
efbl7 wrote:
Believe in the future. Commit to yourself. Strive for you and what you believe in. It is hard. It will be painful. You will be hurt. But what you have is one friend. One single friend that you can lean on. Remember that. So try, though hard it will be, to wake up in the morning and keep living, because if you stay in a stand still you wont find happiness. So instead of feeling others darkness, create your own joy. Live for your future, not from the past. I know that you can look at these words as nothing, being to you I am but a stranger, but know there are many others including myself that have been in that dark place. We just have to make the decision to, Keep Moving Forward.
rainbow

Thank you efbl7. Reading this means a bit more than you think. Literally no one tells me things like this, so it's nice to hear them. Makes me a little happier.
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replied October 8th, 2013
Your very welcome. I'm glad it helped.
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replied November 1st, 2013
One month later, and I've been following you guys' advice.....Though it's been difficult, I can honestly say I'm better. Not immensely so, but I'm getting there. Thank you guys so much...
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