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Does my bf deserve to deal with my bulimia and all it entails

It's been six years that I've been bulimic and I honestly am getting no better just better at living with it. My current boyfriend actually cares for me and he is amazing. I say I don't love him but I don't know if it is because of him getting in the way of my bulimia or because I truly don't. I am constantly attacking him and he doesn't deserve it. Should I just let him go and be happy elsewhere or fight and hope I truly love him. He is very religious and caring and I am scared he is just staying with me out of obligation and that adding my crazy life to his is just hurting him and causing him pain that I've become numb to. I guess I just want to know if I am a horrible person for not wanting to lose him despite the fact that I'm hurting him all the while
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replied March 22nd, 2013
Community Volunteer
Hi Scaredofit11111 and welcome to ehealth: Only you can answer if you love him...Yet, they always say that you never hurt the one you love...I know from living with my husband for many years that I could never hurt him...I would hurt myself first...

By your accepting yourself being Bulimic you are doing yourself an injustice...Get some help...Usually when you do this you do it out of stress...Join a group or see a therapist to get you on the right path...It isn't easy to beat, but the consequences can be deadly...

Good luck and I hope all goes well...Take care...

Caroline
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replied March 27th, 2013
Extremely eHealthy
Hello,

The answer you seek is no he doesn't deserve to deal with your bulimia!
It is however his choice to stay with you and whatever his reasons are I feel you shouldn't question them. If you want to remain alive and even become well again you should be grateful. I hope one day you will be able to show your gratitude and appreciation instead of attacking him.

Six years is too long to suffer from an eating disorder that is likely to result in malnutrition. If you do want to remain alive and avoid the longer-term health problems associated with such things you must seek treatment and counselling to explore the deeper reasons for your disorder and find ways to be at ease with them.

I find it difficult to believe you are simply forced to eat and regurgitate without reason. There is usually a reason for this behaviour; an end goal or a distorted view of self or the world that justifies it in the mind of the sufferer.
Often there is an element where there is an inability to communicate effectively or a requirement to communicate with those "who would not understand you" or as a reaction to frustration or bad treatment...

I would be interested to read your own justification and the reasons you believe acted as the catalyst for your current affliction. I hope you will reply. A personal message if you prefer.

Good luck!
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replied March 28th, 2013
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Funny as my husband dealt with this for more than 35 years...It is an off and on thing...Only when I was able to understand why this happens could I move on....It is called "insecurity"....It is a happiness mechanism that you probably learned young....This is triggered by someone who can rip you to pieces or life....The only thing I can say is if you have any doubt in your mind that you don't love him move on...
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