Medical Questions > Relationships > Broken Hearted Forum

Do you think it's wise for me to go away now and give him space?

Well i really hope you guys can help because at this point i will try just about anything. My ex and I were together for almost 7 years and he just broke up with me a couple of months ago because he said he just doesn't want to be in a relationship right now. He even mentioned to me that he's not going to go and find someone else, and it has nothing to do with not loving me. We had the no contact for 2 weeks until I reached out to him to see what he thought about getting back together and his answer was negative. However even since then he keeps calling and texting for various reasons (asking a stupid question or just to see how I am) every few days. He asked me to get coffee a couple of weeks ago and I said yes and even though it was a bit awkward after a while we were ourselves, laughing and joking like usual. I asked him if we're "friends" now and his answer was a very unassuring "yeah, i guess" and I told him I can't be his friend. I asked if he could see himself as just my friend and he got all agitated and said "well you're asking me something that I don't know and its making me uncomfortable,..." so i let it go. He texted a couple of times after that about stupid questions and I even ran into him yesterday at a coffee shop by accident. He decided (I didn't ask him to) to sit down with me for 20 minutes before going to work. We talked, laughed, joked around like we always did. He told me all about his life and how everything is going without me asking. Its such a weird situation because even when we were broken up he asked me to go car shopping with him and asked my opinion about what car i liked and how he doesn't want to get a standard car because i can't drive a standard car!!! When we see each other only when we say hello and goodbye its awkward because we don't kiss but the whole conversation is just like usual, laughing and joking... I'm going away for the summer to see my day (this was the plan even before we broke up and he knew about it, he even had asked me to bring him back some items that he wanted). It should be mentioned that he is 25 and I am 27. We got together when he was 18 and I was 20. He doesn't have his life together yet, I'm going to school and working towards going to law school and he is just working at odd jobs, not a career. He has talked to some people about the break up (however, not his best friend who is going out with my best friend, to them he is still pretending that we're good!) and they have talked to me and they keep telling me that he is doing this for me!!! I'm not sure what that means but I'm guessing its about him not having a career and doesn't know what he can offer me and hasn't found himself yet. However I never thought of him as anything less at all, I love him for the person that he is, not the money he makes and not the career that he has. How can I show him that I don't care about that and that this is all in his head and that what he is doing is not for me because its killing me? Is it bad that i'm going away for the summer, should i stick around or is it good for him to be away from me as well so he can get some perspective?
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replied April 23rd, 2011
Extremely eHealthy
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