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Do you think I should see a doctor? Is this normal?

Please read everything it only gets worse and worse.
I am 20 years old and I want to know if this is normal behaviour.

It all started around high school I had my first relationship at 15, lasted for a month and just went downhill from there. I started taking revealing pictures , rebelling like a normal teenage girl. I started rumours about myself and posted scandalous photos on social media. I loved being the topic and having attention on me. In last year of highschool I had to switch schools because everyone hates me and bullied me really bad.

In last year of highschool at my new school I met a guy who I ran away from home with. He was older and I lived with him in a rented basement. He did sexually take advantage of me and I caused a lot of distress to my family .

I would disappear from school and leave home. I did get pregnant from this guy but ended up having an abortion and moved back home and finished highschool.

Now first year of university. I lived on campus and never attended classes but did all the work on residence and completed exams and tests to pass school. I started dancing at strip clubs for money and fell in love with a pimp.

I became obsessed with my looks and started taking notice when men would look at other woman and not me. It would make me extremely depressed to the point I would do ANYTHING to improve myself.

I saved up for a boob job and paid it in cash right away and thought that would make me feel better about myself. I was wrong. I was with this guy for the full first year of university and everyone on my residence made friends and were very close. I closed myself off inside my room. I wouldn't talk to anybody and would only come out at night to go and dance. I also developed social anxiety from people at my school. And people in general. I was afraid to talk to people thinking I would make a fool of myself so I always avoided ALL SOCIAL CONTaCt. For a year I was with this guy and all I did was dance and sneak him in my dorm.
I got my boob job and literally would sleep in my dorm all the time hardly eating or anything because of how much pain was in.

After my first year I moved back home because my parents wouldn't pay for me to live on campus. I basically couldn't see the guy anymore or dance. I would go out and dance but rarely so I decided to lie to my parents and tell them I'm moving in with a friend at a condo near my school. I left home and moved in with the pimp. I loved him but he made me sick. I caught stds from him and he made me unhealthy so I had to leave him. I moved back home and stopped seeing him.

Second year of university went ok but I am always depressed and I want to have a fun exciting life and I feel terrible because my friends get attention and I don't. They are beautiful and I can' go out with them because I will feel bad about myself or they will get attention. I only have 2 friends and Tia is the case with both of them. During winter again (it's odd because all the bad things happen in winter time) I decided that I wanted a new life. I met someone on Instagram and he offered to fly me out to the United States. I accepted his offer and left my country without telling my parents and school. Things didn't work out and I left with no money so I had to come back and apologized.

I now have a new friend and am in the same situation she is very beautiful and I am not. I have a consultation for nose job surgery soon because u hope it will make my face more beautiful.

I know this sounds silly but it is a problem ? What is wrong with me ?
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replied January 4th, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and would like to help

You seem to have a mental condition , you should seek medical health.
You might need sessions with a therapist along with medications.

I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
Dr khalil
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