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Diagnosis of condition

Hello all,

After being so tired and fed up with the opinions and diagnosis of diferent psychiatrists I felt obligued to post my current health condition on the net, so that some good professional may give me some feedback and evaluation of an expert. While I write this letter, I thought very appropriate to include dates so that you can figure out my situation better.

From December 2000 to August 2001, I was being treated for Bipolar Afective disorder and depression. In the course of this treatment I had tried various medication combinations. A summary of my symptoms and medication history is as follows:

12/11/00 Struggling in school, scattered thoughts, flight of ideas, insomnia, slightly hypomanic
Depakote 500 mg TID, Effexor XR 150 mg qam, Lorazepam .5mg qhs prn

12/29/00 Slightly improved mental state
Depakote 500 mg TID, Effexor XR 150 mg BID. Lorazepam .5-1mg qhs prn

01/22/01 Too sleepy, worried about school, carrying 6 credits
Depakote 500 mg qday, Effexor XR 150 mg BID, Lorazepam .5-1mg qhs prn

2/5/01 Little change in mental state, not responding well to Depakote, taking too much Lorazepam;
Lithium 300mg BID, Celexa 20 mg qam

2/22/01 Continues a little hypomanic, but much improved, responding well to lithium
Lithium 300mg qam-600mg qpm, Celexa 20 mg qam

3/22/01 Continues hypomanic, not sleeping well, can't concentrate
Lithium 600mg BID, Celexa 20mg qam

4/23/01 Some hypomania, aggressive behavior, suspicious, angry
Lithium 600 mg BID, Celexa 20mg qam, Seroquel 25mg qhs

4/30/01 More even tempered, still not sleeping well
Lithium 600mg BID, Celexa 20mg qam, Seroquel 50mg qhs

05/21/01 Continues to struggle in school, less than ideal concentration
Lithium 600mg BID, Celexa 20mg, Seroquel 50mg qhs

06/18/01 Some improvement in school, more stable mood
Lithium 600 mg BID, Celexa 20 mg, Seroquel 50 mg qhs

7/23/01 elevated lithium level, trouble in school-on probation
Lithium 600mg qam-450mg qpm, Celexa 20mg qpm, Seroquel 50mg qhs

8/20/01 Has stopped attending classes, is deciding whether to return home or not
Lithium 600 mg qam-450mg qpm, Celexa 20mg qpm, Seroquel 50mg qhs

I returned home in September 2001 with only four classes left before graduating.

11/2004 Got a full-time job doing IT work. Boss was not satisfied with work. Myselft felt that I was not making progress in this job either.

04/2005 Stopped the IT work. Quit. Felt depressed. Involved myself in other activities at home and out.

11/2005, Found a full-time job that I really liked. I was a customer support representative on the phone, using the english language. At the beginning, I was happy with this job, but the idea of being four classes short made me feel unconfortable, even the fact that I liked it. So, I cut back my hours in order to focus more on the discipline of Computer Science. I would go to my uncle's office to help with IT problems and the like. It was like a volunteer work, but at least it was something related to Computer Science. I was on Customer Service part-time.

03/2007 I lost my Customer Service part-time job, but I was still going to my uncle's office to help in whatever IT related kind of work there would be. Due to my losing the part-time job, I got so depressed that I decided to visit a psychiatrist. Back then, I felt so panicky one afternoon that I started crying. I felt that panicky because I had been under pressure to plan a trip to Europe with my mother to visit my brother who lived in Norway. I felt that, if the planning was going to go wrong, it was going to be my fault.

During my visit to the psychiatrist, he told me that I had been very depressed and prescribed PAROXETINE. I started on paroxetine 10 mg /day. For a part-time job, my uncle hired me to help in what ever IT related issue should come up at his office. That is how I overcame depresssion this time. I took PAROXETINE for about 1 year and a half, during which I had a part-time job, was distracted with creative activities, etc. It seemed to me that the medication was working and never ever felt this good.

01/2008-07/2008 During this time, I had been involved in preparing a trip to Canada, to visit my brother. We planned to do the trip with my mother, who is 74 years old now. As you can see, I became involved in preparing for this trip. All this was distracting to me that I forgot how depressed I had been before.

In September 2008, my mother and me went on a trip to Canada. We stayed about 4 weeks and then returned home. After this, I thought that I could live without the paroxetine and in November 2008, I stopped taking it and involved in excersising, going running at least 2 times a week.

10/2008 One week after I got back from Canada with my mother, I lost my part-time job at my uncle's office. He told me that I had not been making progress and was not happy at all with the job I was doing. I felt that I had not been making progress in doing some development and programming projects as well. I started excersising and going to my friend's office to help in whatever was possible.

02/2009 In February 2009 I found a part-time teaching job, teaching english. I still went running and also visiting my friends office. Then I felt with energy and desire to do anything even without the PAROXETINE.

06/2009 I got sick with the flue and it derived to coughing a lot. I went to the doctor and he prescribed medicine for the alergy of my runny nose and coughing. During those days, I was not able to go running and hardly ever went out of my house. Then I felt depressed.

07/2009. I had an argument with my brother about how I was spending my mother's money on expensive medicine. That made me feel even more depressed and thought I had to do something with my life. Also, I used the Burns Depression Checklist and found out thay my depressiion was above 50 which is equivalent to a Severe Depression.

08/2009 I sought for help and visited a pdoc who prescribed PAROXETINE for the depression. I thought I could go on with my life without the medication, just involving my self in excersising (like before) and studying for the 4 classes I still had left at the university before graduating in the US. Did not start taking paroxetine.

09/2009 I prepared a plan of attack to finally finish those 4 classes. I planned on waking up at 6 am and start working on the programming projects for the class. I was going to wake up at 5:30 every other day to go running at 6 am (running for about 30 minutes, then excersising for about 30 minutes as well) At 9 am, according to my planning, I was going to work on the programming projects. For the main class, there were 6 programming projects that you have to finish to guarantee 50% of the total grade. I started working on project 1 in October 2009. This project should only take 2 weeks.

01/2010 As of January 2010 was not able to finish projext #1 yet. So that made me so depressed that I had to seek for help again. I became so depressed that I thought about suicide many times, but only in my thoughts. I never really had a plan to commit suicide. The Burns Depression Checklist gave me 55. That is why I searched for help.

02/2010 I went to visit another psychiatrist. Told me that I was suffering from an atypical depression. He put me on mirtazapine 15 mg at bed time for my depression. I had trouble sleeping at night and many times I woke up all covered with sweat. Me and my psychiatrist had decided on seeing for theraphy sessions about once a week. He seemed very interested in my case that I agreed on seeing him once a week.

03/07/2010 The third week of treatment, doctor started me on Abilify: 5 mg in the morning and 5mg at bedtime. I did not really experience any side effects the first week but since about the second week I had the following side effects:
1.Lots of anxiety
3.Weight gain
4.Desire to be moving or walking all the time
5.Tense feelings, like I was going to lose my temper.

After this, I felt like the side effects were in some way, decreasing. One day or two I had the desire to involve myself in creative activities, like doing some software setup on my computers, installing a network printer, etc. It was like my body was getting used or accepting the dosage of Abilify recommended by the doctor. At the same time, the pdoc told me to decrease the dosage of mirtazapine to 7.5 mg at bedtime and to increase the dosage of Abilify to 5mg in the morning and 10 mg at bedtime.

03/28/2010 My psychiatrist told me to increase the dosage of Abilify to 7.5 mg in the morning to 15 mg at bedtime. I did not feel any particular side effects after the increase of the dosage during the first week but after the second week I started to feel the following side effects:
1.Lots of anxiety and restlessness
3.Desire to be moving or walking all the time
4.Tense feelings, like I was going to lose my temper; this, whenever I was talking with someone face to face, like during theraphy sessions.
5.Felt like I had my mind blank, hard time concentrating.
6.Felt like I was walking over clouds.
7.Felt like I was going to fall
8.I feel very depressed
9.I have suicidal thoughts
10.I woke up everynight at about 4:30 am and then I have a hard time falling asleep again.
11.I feel very much hopeless and worthless.
12.No desire to go excersise, yet before I loved to wake up early, go running and excersise.
13.I feel very lazy as to go for a walk.
14.When I wake up, I feel tired.

All these side effects relate to about this week which is about the middle of the sixth week on the Abilify since I started taking it.

04/12/2010 My psychiatrist started me on Paroxetine 20 mg at noon. Told me to stop taking mirtazapine. Still with the side effects noted above from taking Abilify.

04/14/2010 I went for a second opinion to another psychiatrist. He told me that I was bipolar depressive and prescribed Lithium and paroxetine to be taken as follows:
Lithium: 300 mg in the morning and 300 mg at bedtime
Paroxetine: 20 mg in the morning
As of today, 14 of April, I have dry mouth, dizzyness.
I also had an injection of Cobavimin (B vitamin) for back pain that I am suffering since last Sunday that came up after I was trying to lift something heavy. Also, my Burns Depression Inventory is 60.

Any valuable diagnosis of my condition from an expert will be much appreciated.

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replied April 17th, 2010
Okay first your normal stop letting them load you up on meds its nonsense. They did the same thing to me and the meds mess with your body and make it worse. What you need to do is see the beauty in life. Its not always easy to find but once you find it and grasp it things makes sense. This world is full of craziness and sometimes you want to sit on the side lines and watch it be lived for you. Stop letting it be lived for you seize control. This is your life and you are able to live it. You sound like someone who has just been on one heck of a roller coaster . Its time to realize that roller coaster might of been to high but there are so many others just waiting for you to ride.
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