Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Depression still finding ways to bring me down

Hi, I am 22 years old, Male. I have been single for about 8 months now. I am currently going to college working hard to get through as fast a possible. I USE to smoke pot to deal with my depression, but luckily I have an awesome cousin who got me out of it. I smoked pot for about 2 years straight, everyday, and now I feel like a completely new person being sober. I use to make friends with a bunch of pot heads and lost all my non-smoking friends in the process. I now have none to very little friends; I spend more time with my cousins (I got about 23 of them, big family). I spend a lot my time at home when I am not at school; I mostly play video games, watch anime, go out for jogs, play basketball and have recently started to pick up golfing. I feel depressed when I am alone at home with my thoughts. After my ex cheated on me, it feels like the world keeps throwing obstacles in my way and I get even more depressed thinking about. I have lost some of my drive and I want it back! I don't know how I can trust another women again. I don't want to date anymore with all the media twisting the way a relationship is suppose to be like. But at the same time I don't want to give up; I know she is out there somewhere. Its hope that drives me now and also hoping that one day I get lucky. I wish my father were still alive I could really use his advice; he always knew what to say.
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First Helper pandaa
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replied November 18th, 2012
I know how you feel about friends. I mean I lost a lot of my highschool friends within the past 2 years due to a change of lifestyle (I used to party/club every weekend. Since I stopped partying regularly I lost THOSE weekend friends... I also lost my pot head friends. I basically ALSO spend a lot of my time at home when i'm not at school. And I mainly talk to my brothers/cousins/parents everyday. I feel extremely alone. I had two bestfriends and now I only have one. And my only best friend can't even GO out of the house or in public because she had cosmetic surgery done and she does not like the results. As for relationships.. if it makes you feel better I never been on a date with someone or had a boyfriend (I reject everyone). I also have trust issues with guys because I've come across many guys who don't tell me they have girlfriends... and they try to get close to me/hook up. I even came across a guy who held my hand.. and WAS MARRIED. I always find it out myself. So that's why i think men are shady/cheaters. HOWEVER, even though my experiences were horrible.. I STILL believe that I someday will find the right guy for me. You have to be positive and TRUST that everything happens for a reason and this may be a blessing in disguise. I'm glad that you still have hope to drive you and continue that!! NOT ALL women are the same.. there will be someone out there for you. Don't let one bad experience ruin it for you, have faith. I just wanted to throw that out there!
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replied November 27th, 2012
Pandaa,

Thank you for your response, it made me feel better. I am sorry that you too have gone through horrible experiences when it comes to relationships. Just like you told me that not all girls are the same, not all guys are the same. The reason my ex broke up with me was because I didn't want to have sex right away; I told her that I have had to many relationships that were just physical. I want to stray away from that; I am the type of person that really needs to get to know you before I let you completely in. Sorry that took a while to explain. Thanks again!
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replied November 27th, 2012
yeah many relationships these days stem from the physical aspect.. but everything happens for a reason!

Best wishes
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