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After a significant loss of my testicular tissue, I have fallen into a deep depression and have been ashamed of myself. I've felt I've lost confidence to be a "real man" and I"m not feeling like I want to deal with this any longer. I am upset my doctor had me taking synthetic testosterone treatments for years, and now, I resent ever being put on those. It really upsets me to know that what my doctor did likely will impact me for the remainder of my entire life.

My now ex-girlfriend had noticed that my testicle size had decreased and she made fun of me constantly about it. She often bullied me emotionally, mentally, and even physically struck me a few times when she was very angry.

Now, almost half a decade later, I'm still struggling with the small testicle size issue, the bad memories, the fear of a future girlfriend being like my previous girlfriend, self-esteem issues, and ongoing sadness from this seemingly permanent damage to my testicles that aren't recovering at all.

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replied October 19th, 2018
Depression Answer A64505
Welcome to e health forum.

The main issue you are facing is due to physical absence of a testes.

If your hormonal status (testosterone levels, etc) as well as sexual functions are normal, then you can go for a testicular implant (artificial) , which may help in physical appearance of your genitalia look normal and this may improve your psyche and confidence as well.

This may be the best option for you. Consult your doctor / endocrinologist / urologist for a proper opinion.

I hope this helps.

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