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Depression , Psychosis and suicidal ideation

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How do you cope when someone close to you is suffering with depression, psychosis and suicidal ideation?
OK so I do my usual "Yep, doesn't shock me" thing, and it doesn't shock me but I'm not really processing it either - right now it's a bit like someone telling me they read a book "oh, that's nice, dear".

This person has been ill for a long time, just no one else has seen it - that in itself annoys the heck outta me. He's been ill since before I was born, at least since he was a teenager - maybe he's always been ill, I don't know.
For many years he drank heavy to blot out his "bad thoughts", but then the drink started to affect his health and he took steps to cut down, even stopped on and off. He'd sometimes to choose to have a can of beer instead of drinking hard liqor. But then the "bad thoughts" starting coming through again instead.

I complained about his drinking when I was probably only 11 or 12 and was told to hush up and not be difficult. I pointed out his drinking was out of hand many times during my teen years and finally I moved out when I was 18.
Last year we had an episode with him. Ended up calling an ambulance and going to hospital. I asked then for him to be sectioned under the mental health act, for his own safety. They refused to even get him a psych evalutaion and I was told to call the police if I felt threatened - like that's useful gee thanks.

For sometime he's said he can hear voices outside. I didn't think anything odd of it because he lives in a small village at the base of some hills and you get odd accoustic effects. Only those voices weren't outside, they were in his head. Don't I feel stupid for not realising? Those voices told him he had done bad things, that he was bad and to do bad things.
He thought the voices were coming from a wooden dresser, so he trashed it, but the voices were still there, so he tried to knock him self out, but only ended up with a bruise and the voices were still there.
The crisis team were visiting him by then, although they thought they were visiting him to help manage his depression...
Sunday morning the crisis team went for their morning visit and he was suicidal. They persuaded him hospital was the best place to go, well I don't know if they persuaded him or sectioned him under the mental health act yet.
He'd written a big sign saying "LEAVE ME ALONE" in his kitchen, he'd made loads of cardboard crosses and put them all round the living room and kitchen, he'd stopped going upstairs by then.
I don't know if I should remove them or leave them. I think if I remove them he'll get upset because they aren't there, but if I leave them I worry they might trigger him when he comes home.
He isn't going to be coming home anytime soon, he's real sick, but I knew that, just no-one wanted to listen to me. If they had maybe he wouldn't be so sick, how do I deal with that resentment? It's all well and good to say "you have to let it go" I don't want to let it go, I don't want to let people get away withnot caring, I want to process the resentment, to deal with it not to just let it go.

How am I supposed to be there for him when I'm sick too? Why does my family hide problems under the rug (so to speak) until they're so big you fall over them, then why do they always expect me to be the one to fix things?
I'm sick too and no-one really realises. I've never dealt with losing Oliver, I can't let go of that, I don't want to let go, why should people be allowed to get away with doing what they did? I want people to pay for their actions. No, I'd never go hurt anyone, I wouldn't have the courage to leave my little safety bubble anyway. PTSD, depression, anxiety, ocd and agoraphobia and now I'm expected to deal with his problems - how can I help someone when I can't help me?
My great grand aunt, 1 uncles, my father (on my paternal side), my grandmother and an uncles (on my mom's side) all suffer(ed) from mental illnesses of some sort, from depression to paranoid schizoprenia. I fell like there's no way out. I'm genetically pre-disposed. And I've just realised things have come full cirlce. I joined ehealth a long time ago specifically to find out about mental health issues and now here I am back at the beginning, yet so much has passed under the bridge since that day long long ago.

Sorry, for such a long post. I'm just lost right now.
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replied May 8th, 2009
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sweet heart,
I know what you are going through and then some. I look to God to help me and to help me help others. It is very hard to be sick and try and deal with someone who does not want to
live. Is there any way you could take care of this person from afar? Do all you can for him but from your own house? Just remember one thing what you are doing or helping him with you need to weight it out into a couple of actigories 1 are you really helping him.
2 are you enabling him by doing things for him
3 your needs and well being are first then his.
I will pray for you to get healthy again.
karen
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replied March 26th, 2012
Your are inconsiderate, selfish, immature and down-right nasty. I am gob-smacked that you have feeling in your black soul I don't need to know you to get a good idea of what a selfish, spoilt, stuck up little madam you are.
This is a very sharp post for me and I hope never to have to post as such again but do think before you speak.mabe if you had sum kindness and compassion in your heart he would havethat problem doesnt feel good to have the shoe on the other foot does it i was raped by a family friend and had the same problem and its not fun i hope one day you will go though sumting simular
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