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Depression,Fibromyalgia, and suicidal thoughts

I am 16 years old. I was bullied really bad in school. I was pushed down stairs, had my arms and legs slammed in lockers and door, and had rocks thrown at me. i eventually felt i had done something to deserve this. I still feel like somehow i must have provoked them. I don't know how. I am in online school now. I have unexplained pain all over now that only seems to get worse. Some days i can barely get out of bed. during the bullying i had started self-harming. I havnt managed to break myself of that habit. I have had a lot of suicidal thoughts lately. I don't want to tell a therapist because then my parents would find out. I feel they have enough issues as it is, i shouldn't be adding to them. I have let some friends know about my depression issues and my suicidal thoughts. They don't seem to understand that i am not looking for attention. If i was looking for attention i wouldn't hide the cuts, or be afraid of my parents knowing. Recently, I have been cheated on by the guy i was dating for almost 5 years. i had tried to kill myself after that. i failed. i am not quite sure if that is a blessing or a curse. i have another boyfriend now, 5 months after i was cheated on, and i am trying to open up to him and tell him everything. I just don't seem able to. how can i explain to someone who has no clue what it is like? I live in a world of pain. even if i didn't self-harm, i would still hurt. I have Fibromyalgia. i am not sure what causes it, but it makes it hard to sleep, it makes it hard to walk, sometimes it is hard to even eat. How do i try to live when i am surrounded by pain?
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