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Depression = bipolar disorder ?

I'm a 18 year old guy and I've been suicidal off-and-on for the last 3 years or so. Thought at first it was hormones, but the more I symptoms I see, the more I am convinced I am bipolar. I have severe negative moods where I have to lock myself up in my room to keep from hurting myself or committing suicide and even then I come close to doing so. Then I have really high moods where my heart and mind races and I do weird things. For example, during one recent event I wrote 40 pages in less than 48 hours. This is unusual. Normally it takes me a month to write this much! I feel like my life is spiraling out of control. The main trigger that seems to spark my depressive episodes is strange as well. Every time I think about or see or hear about this certain girl in my life, I feel so hopeless it's unbearable. I have never had a girlfriend or even talked to girls really, so I've always been very lonely. But this girl had seemed different (or at least I thought). Sometimes when I see her I feel like she feels something towards me, but doesn't say it. I don't say anything because she is in love with her high school (more like junior high AND high school) sweetheart (not me for sure). And I know this has all sounded stupid and this girl is not the only trigger, but its true. I might have a personality disorder or something. I'm also really shy and kind of a social phobe so this might be another reason I don't understand.

I feel like if I don't do something soon something bad will happen to me. Every forum I've posted on everybody screams for me to go see a doctor or talk to my parents about this, but I can't. I just can't. I think I would commit suicide just from the trauma of doing that. Is there any individual initiative I could take? Or any natural remedies? I can't afford a doctor without going to my parents first. And I'm definitely NOT doing that.

And here I am, at 2:00 in the morning, typing on this forum when I have college classes early in the morning and a test and project due that I haven't studied for or done!
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replied April 17th, 2009
18 year old guy: Depression = bipolar disorder?
Hi Splexin,

I also think you should find some professional help. Only a psychiatrist can diagnose whether you truly have bipolar.

In meantime, maybe you'd like to try some Bach flower remedies? I'm not sure if I can post a link here cos I received a warning last time not to advertise when I wasn't even trying to. You can search the internet for info - just type in Bach flower remedies in google and you'll find many times with good info.

Bach's Rescue remedy can help calm you down so that you can think more clearly about your solutions.

Larch may be helpful if your issues are due to lack of self-confidence.

Mimulus is for fear of specific things.

Cherry Plum is for fear losing control over yourself.

Crap Apple if you have self-hatred.

If you have severe mood swings you may want to check your diet. Is it loaded with sugar and caffeine (in coffee and coke)? These foods can cause a sudden surge in blood sugar which gives you a very high mood but you feel like you're in the pits once the blood sugar drops - pretty much like taking a roller coaster ride in your head.

Hope this helps.

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replied April 17th, 2009
Do any of those actually work? Do you know someone who's actually tried them?
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replied April 20th, 2009
18 year old guy: Depression = bipolar disorder?
Yes a good friend of mine had a very stressful job so she used the flower remedies on a regular basis. As for me I keep quite a number of remedies on hand too, for myself and for my 9 year old kid.

I've personally tried Mimulus, Cherry Plum (sometimes I get so frustrated with my son's mischiefs that I just had to find a way to prevent myself from lashing out at him ha ha...), Impatient, and Hornbeam (for procrastination.)

As for sugar and mood swings, I've experiences with their effects as I've had bad mood swings too in the past as I was hypoglycemic. To be honest I suffered from chronic fatigue and depression too but I'm ok now. Thank God for natural remedies.

Hope this helps!

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replied July 31st, 2019
Thank you for asking at Ehealth forum!

I read your question and I understand your concern.
Your feelings are suggestive of depression.
If you can't inform your parents then it will be very difficult for you to get proper treatment.
Be courageous and confident. Don't lose hope.
Regular excercise and yoga are also helpful in this situation.
I hope it helps. Stay in touch with your healthcare provider for further guidance as our answers are just for education and counselling purposes and cannot be an alternative to actual visit to a doctor.
Take care
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