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Depression and anxiety or PTSD ?

I know I have a depression problem and I did went to a doctor once about it. I never go to a doctor again because all unnecessary stuff that I don't need like blood test, blood pressure, weight, height, and wanted me to go back for stuff that isn't about my depression or anxiety. Total cost of all unnecessary stuff, $1500.

Doctor say I have heavy anxiety and they say I should use medication for it but I ended up not using it because it wasn't helping. I do have panic attack many time and my anxiety with depression on top of it cause me to lose my 3rd job. It took me forever to control myself and I do still feel the anxiety but I try my best not to show it and ruining my current job.

Before I told you what is wrong with me and need help understanding what is going on, I need to tell you guys 1/3 of my full story. I was homeless once. My dad say I shouldn't live and just die. Told me that no one will care about me and my step mom want me out of the house because I'm 19 years old at that time and couldn't get to college because they won't filled out my FAFSA. I run away crying with nothing on me. I meet someone around my age after walking over several miles down the road at night and they help me find a homeless shelter. During my time in the shelter; found a job, was lie to by the shelter about free ride to work, have to walk to work everyday, and was hungry almost all the time. Wasn't able to save up the money because of the shelter force you to sign a contract to "donate" about $1.25 per hours you work up to $200 per paycheck in order to say there if you got a job.

Now this day, I'm no longer living in the shelter but having problem handling life. I no longer have bad stress but still feel anxiety problem that I keep on having like flashback of something that I don't remember. For some reason, almost all of my memory are blank. It feel like something bad did happen but at the same time, I don't want to remember it. And whenever I try to remember it, I started to have a bad anxiety which cause me to have a panic attack. I don't know why I don't remember certain things and I don't feel comfortable around with people. I'm having problem going back to my old life like I used to have during my high school times. It feel like something is holding me back. Feel like heavy pain in my chest which causing me hard to breath when ever I try to have fun in life. Having a relationship is hard too which cause me to break up a lot. It took me forever to understand someone and what they are trying to say. It feel like I'm empty inside and almost like I'm not important. I'm scared almost all the time. I mostly stay in my room because it feel safe. I rarely go out because of my bad anxiety around with people. It feel like I don't trust anyone and I don't know why. It feel like something did happen that cause it but I don't remember anything since of missing memory problem about it.

My friend say that it might be PTSD but I don't know. All I know is that I have anxiety and depression problem. PTSD, I don't know about that?
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replied February 23rd, 2018
Hello and welcome to EHF !

I went through your query and i believe anxiety and panic attacks take time for resolution. Sometimes it may persist for life and need supportive care with compliance to andiolytics and frequent psychotherapy sessions. I would highly recommend to stay in touch with your psychologist and psychiatrist and compliant use of anxiety meds.chlordiazepoxide or ativan are the safest anxiolytics have come across. Consult your psychiatrist for further management. Possibility of ptsd cannot be ruled out.

Take care.
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