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depressed 18 months. Left alone to deal.

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So no matter how I look at it I can't make myself happy again. 3 years of being with someone you think that they would never leave you. I got pregnant almost 4 months ago. My boyfriend and I weren't expecting it. It was a shock but there were so many thoughts floating in my head at the time. Like..What am i going to do? Why am I being blamed? How could I even think of going and murdering my kid? He pushed the idea of abortion. over and over and over again. Any way he could get out of it he mentioned. I have lost two other children..I looked at this chance to finally be happy and have a family. He looked at it as something the destoryed his life. He told me we can't afford this child he didn't want to end up paying child support. He told me over and over that he never want this kid. One day he even told me he wanted a DNA test. I would never cheat on him..despite how he was acting. I loved him regardless. My anger just got worst and worst as the days passed. I was mean and horrible to him because I just couldn't take it anymore. The emontional abuse was just to much. I moved back in with my mother and he moved.. I haven't seen him since. On Valentines Day I got a call and he broke up with me. He made up excuses and told me he couldn't look at me anymore then he told me that he would always love me but he needed a month to get his thought together. I am broken.

He was suppose to show to an ultrasound appointment but never showed up. That day i found out it was a girl. I told him no responce back in the text. He told me that he cares about his daughter but doesn't care much about me. But then goes and tells my bestfriend that he lvoes us and wants to be a family. but he could never say that to my face.

I don't know what to do. The tears just stop. I don't want to freak out to much and hurt the baby but I am just so depressed.

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replied March 17th, 2011
i was left alone during my preganacy. just stay positive. one day he'll come running back to you believe me. you just have to ask yourself what it is you want him around for?
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