Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Depressed from a sexless marriage

Must Read
Do you know how doctors define clinical depression? Learn more about this brain disorder and types of depression that doctors diagnose here....
Can depression run in families? Can hormones really make you depressed? Yes! Learn more about causes and conditions of clinical depression here....
People with depressive illnesses do not all experience the same symptoms. Do you know the signs and symptoms of depression? Read on to learn more....
I am a young (26) stay at home mother. I have two children, my 5 year old son and my 7 month old daughter.My husband (34) goes to work M-F 6am-4pm and my son goes to school M-F 8am-3pm, while I stay home with my daughter. Right now we have one car which my husband uses for work. Not to mention, school two nights a week, band practice two or three nights a week and sometimes he works all day on Saturdays. I have the children pretty much 24/7. I mean he does help with the kids when he is home. But usually by time he is home the kids are in bed. And I of course wake up with the baby through the night. I really don't have much of a life outside of my home. No car and no funds... I leave the house maybe once or twice a week. My mother-in-law does watch the children 1 or 2 a month for my husband and I to go out. But then you got that issue. I believe I am in a sexless marriage. We go out once in a while on a date, but it's never a steady date night. Usually we go out and spend our time with HIS friends. I mean I have became friends with one of the girls. But she is it. Most of the girls in the his "group" don't like me just because I haven't known them for years. His friends have all been friends for many many years. And I am looked at as an outsider. Anyways... back to the sexless part. My husband and I have sex maybe once a month. IF I AM LUCKY! And it's not me. I could go for sex 3-7 times a week. I love it. And he seemed to as well. But now, if I don't "take" it, I don't get it. I have talked to him about this, but he claims it's his testosterone levels, and that they are low or it's the stress he has in life between work, school, band practice, me and the kids. He gives me kisses when he leaves for work or band practice, and the occasional slap on the ass... but that is it. And it is not enough for me. Between ALWAYS being home and lonely, it feels like I live with a room mate... not a husband. I have no one here where I live. My two best friends live out of state, and over time you grow apart, my grandmother (who raised me since 2 days old)passed away 1-1-09, I don't have a father, and my mother is a drug addict who lives in a nursing home 4 hours away. I really think I might need antidepressants.... but my husband would be against that if I was to bring up medication. I just don't know what to do... I feel like if I don't do something I will have a breakdown and end up in a mental facility. Anyone have any suggestions or comments?
Did you find this post helpful?

replied May 29th, 2012
sad sahm in a sexless marriage
I know this post is old but I feel the same only it seems that if I'm lucky we have sex once every two months or so for the past 3+ years. I'm also a 26 year old stay at home mom with a 4 year old, 2 year old and 4 month old. Claims he's overwhelmed with being the sole financial provider but cannot guarantee or promise me that there will be any changes in our sex life when i do get a job. I also don't have friends nearby where reside but I have gotten over that. I know that he is in love with his children but I feel like he resents me. I Wish someone has some insight on what to do to turn this situation around.
Did you find this post helpful?