Medical Questions > Relationships > Single and Struggling Forum

Depressed, bitter, and full of asperger's.

Hello there. I have reached a near crisis point in my clinical depression, and I still feel like there isn't any help anywhere. I am working with a weekly therapist and a frequent psychologist, am a daily dosage of 20mg of Cipralex AND 10mg Seraquil, and I still feel very little except despair.

You see, I was diagnosed with asperger's syndrome. It's something I've come to accept, and I don't feel like it makes me a "malicious" person. Really, I have just yearned for a deep, loving relationship with a girl since I was eight years old. It's probably strange to hear about an eight year old boy fantasizing about getting married, but that was who I was.

My obsession with having a loving partner has fueled my depression. I have tried everything and anything to get the attention of females, but they don't want anything to do with me.

"I don't feel the same way."
"You're not right for me."
"You're weird."
"You can't be serious."
"No way."

These are the responses I receive. In the past couple of years I've become completely miserable to the point that even my close friends are starting to steer clear of me. I don't get any amusement out of anything except playing video games and working on my novel. I feel so much hatred towards the world for denying me a chance to feel loved.

But now it's gotten to the worst possible point. I found a blog written by a girl I used to be interested in. She wrote that I was "the boy with threatening thoughts." She wrote that she was scared of me, and I made her afraid to go to school, because she thought I was going to bring a gun and shoot everyone. After some inquiring, I found out that apparently this is a pretty rampant rumour about me. It looks like my grade 12 year will be just as miserable as the rest.

I feel so much sadness, bitterness, misery and anger, and I don't know if it will ever change. What do I do?
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replied October 10th, 2010
Let me ask you something? Why is it important for you to have a relationship in order to be happy?

First off. Stop having so much self pity on yourself. I know that it's hard and painful yet it's not getting you anywhere. Put that on the side, empty that glass like Bruce Lee always says and start fresh.

Another thing. I think it's best for you to try to eliminate your depression before getting into a relationship. Still, it doesn't mean you can't go out with girls. The pills only go so far, the psychologist is there to support what MAKES YOU COMFORTABLE until you pick up. Find out what drives you in life. What is it that fuels YOU and makes you feel alive. Maybe is a hobby or helping others. Make a list and see what makes your heart beat hard or makes u cry out of happiness. Join groups or clubs and make new friends. SOCIALIZE and talk about normal stuff in life. Hug your mom or any family member and tell them you love them. Play with a dog. Focus on something positive and give your love to people who deserve it.

But first:

Do you go out with your friends as a group with girls? If you never do then that's another key. That's how you learn how to socialize and ease up things. Break the ice. Also don't act so desperate or obsessed about a girl. It freaks them out like you said. It's not working SO STOP! If they're not up to it make new friends. Like I said join a club, gym, or anything that you like to do.

This week. As for girls, just start by saying hello to them and don't even start a conversation. If they ask you questions to stop you then go ahead, but keep it short. If you don't know what to say just introduce yourself and tell her you'll catch up with her later. Don't ask for her number yet unless you're sure u won't see her again. If u have to don't ask in a scared way. You just say "Awesome! Well I gotta run. Hey give me ur number!" Take OUT UR PHONE before you ask and hand it to her. Remember to RELAX and just smile when you say hello. Tell me what happens. Don't be afraid of rejection. If something goes on there's more girls out there and I'll help you out. With just that I think u might clear up your head a bit because your depression level will go down for sure. Especially when you get feedback which I'm sure you will. Remember say Hello! Good luck. SMILE!

REMEMBER ACT! Don't coward away if not u won't get any better.
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