Medical Questions > Mental Health > Depression Forum

Depressed and don't know why

Hey, Im really not sure if i should be writing here i guess im more or less just looking for answers to know if anything is wrong with me. Im 19 years old and went threw alot of drinking and depression when i was 16-17. I stopped drinking about 4 months ago.

Just the depression it keeps coming back, no matter what. It seems like it never leaves. Its never constant, but when night time rolls around, i just feel more alone then ever. I can be the happiest person in a room, but i feel like im just wearing a mask cause i want others to be happy. But in an instant it all comes rushing back...

I feel so lonely but i know im not. I have a girlfriend, but sometimes that doesnt help. Like today she was hanging out with an ex, and said well when we watch movies i know what can happen between us" talking about them , this is a year and 3 months of dating her... which made my mood spiral out of control. I didnt want to talk to her... its valentines day.

But the depression and loneliness i dont understand.. The stress of life does not help either. I know exactly what i want to do, but i can never find the motivation to do it. Ive thought about suicide many times, thankfully i dont think i ever will be able to becuase of my Mom.

I am on anti ulcer medication from years of caffine pill abuse, or at least thats what i think it is.

I just dont want to live life any longer, it seems so much easier to just whither away... people do get over those kinda things.

Maybe im just confused, but that doesnt explain the way i feel, i like time alone more then being with friends, ive lost 1 best friend to drugs, and i curreently just lost another for reasons i dont even know. He wont talk to me.

Im sorry if this sounds selfish, but i really dont know how to word it to be not selfish...

I just want to know if this is anything i should worry about.. or if its just normal... Im really confused.. scared.. and it seems like i cant talk to anyone i know about this..
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First Helper lunacykills
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replied February 15th, 2009
I love you
Man, after reading this, i got to say. You have so much to live for. You need to pick a hobby. Get into hockey or football. I believe that nobody needs medication. Just live your life like it was your last day on earth. I went through depression, but its just like that episode on south park where i believe stan became an emo, but butters was like "I dont hate life" and stan snapped out of it. Life can suck sometimes but theres no reasont o get depressed. Depression is a state of mind, and you can overcome it. I believe in you
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replied August 21st, 2010
i feel the same exact way except i dnt hav a gf im always so lonely even wen im not idk if this makes sense to u
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replied December 6th, 2010
Man i can understand this, i feel the same way ALOT. for no reason i just feel like life is all s*** and i dont feel like going on anymore but some of the things that keep me goin is that though of how much it would hurt the people i care about if i were gone. Though i may be in pain i just could bear the though of making my sisters, my mother, mad dad, crying cause i wasnt there anymore and never was comming back. I know it's hard man trust me i do, but you just gotta pull through it. In time the bulls*** will pass...
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replied June 13th, 2011
Depression hurts alot, i know. i can almost completely relate to what you just said, except i'm single and feel lonely even when i'm around friends or family. sometimes i get depressed over nothing at all (atleast i think its nothing) and i just start crying and feeling horrible for myself, having suicidal thoughts and thinking how bad my life sucks. i'm just hoping this pain will end soon, and it has before, so i guess, this pain does go away but not immediately, it takes time to get better, or have something nice replace it.
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replied June 14th, 2011
hi....u hav worded my thoughts. Today is my b'day. i don't hav any particular reson for being sad.people wish me n say good things but it juz doesn't matter at all. i m so depressed....feelin damn lonely despite having so many people in ma life..

i feel like i m not wat i was years ago..!!! i want be myself again. don't know how i changed so much ...i can't recongize myself...want to go back to those days when i didn't need a reason to be happy...

i believe "this too shall pass away"
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replied November 7th, 2011
why am I so depressed?
I have read the replies, but i still don't get it. I am 26, never been happy, never trury loved (family considered), and always angry. I don't care about anything. i graduated top of my class in engineering but I never went for my degree. I have been hired several jobs but I always quit. I don't talk to my family although they love me. I feel sad, worthless and unsatisfied all the time. The thing is, I had a wonderful childhood, a wonderful life and a wonderful family. i just want to know, why am I so depressed? Why am I so angry? Why am I so useless? God!!!!!!!!!
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