I am a young mom and i'm pregnant with our fourth child! This pregnancy was COMPLETELY unplanned. My husband was really supportive and actually excited about a new baby. I'm now 29 weeks and have been on bed rest for 2 weeks . It is tourture, I can't work or enjoy my normal activities. I cry almost every day, sometimes for no real reason. I have been really down, I don't want any company to visit and just want to be alone most times. My husband works a lot and often gets in late which means i'm alone with the kids all day and stressed. It seems that he's starting to resent me since he has to pick up a lot of my slack around the house. We argue about things we never did before. I miss my life and how things were. My biggest fear when I got pregnant was how a new baby would change things and it seems that nothing is the same anymore, it all got worse. I had just got my career off the ground and now it's like it was a waste since i can't work and will need to stay home with the baby for at least 6 months to a year. I feel so terrible that Im not overjoyed about the pregnancy. I am greatful and I know the baby is a blessing, I just can't get out of this funk i'm in. I just wish I could sleep through the next few weeks so I don't have to feel this pain. I didn't experience this with my other kids so something must be wrong with me. Am I really depressed?
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replied August 15th, 2008
Especially eHealthy
((hugs)) You are not doing anything wrong. You are going through a major life change right now and it is causing upheaval in your entire family and financial situation. That is enough to cause anyone to feel sad.

I would like to encourage you to speak with your doctor about your feelings. You do sound depressed - but it also sounds situational. Meaning, it sounds to me (NOT A DOCTOR!) that you are feeling the way you are do to the circumstances that are going on around you, with the pregnancy, etc.

Do you think you could get some other family member or friend to come and help you out to take a small amount of work off your husband? That might not be possible, but maybe a babysitter for an evening here or there so you and your husband can reconnect a little without the stress of constantly having to do something, care for someone?
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replied August 16th, 2008
What a releif
What a relief! I am so glad to hear that some one understands how i'm feeling and doesn't think i'm crazy or overreacting. I really needed to hear that. Maybe I should tell my doctor how I feel so that she can refer me to some resources that could help. I think I will have my mom and mother in law help out a little more. They offer and a lot of times I turn them down because I don't want to be a burden to them. But I guess I should let everyone share the workload so that its not all on my husband. And I do think we need to re-connect. Maybe my mom could keep the kids one night so that we could watch a movie and order in for dinner or something since i'm on bedrest. I know things will get better it just seems like while i'm in the middle of it, there's no end in sight. Again I really appreciate your sound advice, its just what I needed to hear.
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replied September 27th, 2008
Freaking out already about 4th pregnancy and don't know for sure
I'm right there with you with the depression and I don't even have a positive pregnancy test yet. By pregnancy number 4, the signs are fairly clear. I just don't understand why this is happening to me. I was extra careful this month, using birth control pills and condoms!!! It's like God has a plan for this kid but I don't understand why he is doing this to me when I really can't handle this in my life right now. I am a Christian and I know I shouldnt blame God, but come on!!!! My husband doesn't even want to talk about it except to make some crappy comment that we wouldn't keep it. I'm sure that's just anger or whatever bc we don't believe in abortion and I don't think I could give a baby up for adoption, but it's not like I did this by myself or on purpose. It's not fair that I'm the one who has to go through this with my body, pregnancy is not exactly an easy thing physically or mentally to go through. By the way, what did you mean about the pain you're in? I have a horrible time during pregnancies with sciatic nerve pain, round ligament pain, heartburn, being uncomfortable, etc. What do you have? I already am starting to feel like my belly is getting big and I couldnt be more than 4-5 weeks along, did this happen to you, too? I know some people out there would look at this and think I'm horrible for feeling this way, and I could understand that if I hadn't been careful, but geez, how could I have prevented this short of a sexless marriage being that I used 2 kinds of birth control? Anyway, I'm definitely understanding the way you feel, hang in there girl.
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