Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

Dealing with Girlfriend's Bipolar Disorder?!?

Ok well me and my now ex girlfriend have been on and off for about 3 years. We started off as friends with benefits because I was not ready to have another girlfriend seeing is that I just got out of a one year relationship. She always told me she suffered from BPD but I didn't take it heart because I didn't think it was that serious. When we started hanging out more often she eventually fell in love with me while I continued to see other girls. She even told me at one time she did not care if I was with other girls, that she just wanted to be with me. Keep in mind she had a rough childhood. Her Father was murdered when she was one and her Mother is a drug addict and all she has is her Grandparents. Things started to get out of hand because she would see me out with other girls so we eventually stopped talking for 6 months straight. We then tried to be boyfriend and girlfriend because in the past I was not ready to be committed. At this time, I fell in love with her and things were going great. There was nothing I wouldn't do for her. I was working and supporting her (ex. money, her singing career, and just being her everything) because she was in a bad spot at the time. We would break up and get back together the next day because our love and passion is so strong for each other. She even has a tattoo on her wrist of our zodiac signs combined. She used to have serious talks with me about how madly in love she is in with me and she never wanted to lose me. I dealt with her up and downs and her mood swings because I love her with all my heart and want to help her anyway I can. We broke up officially about a month ago because she punched me in the face when she was under the influence. We have both done bad things to each other but that put the icing on the cake for me. Even though breaking up with her at the time was a good idea, I still want to work it out with her because we have both agreed that we are soul mates. We have been trying to work it out while being friends this past month but it's gotten to the point where I realize how serious this disorder can be. She offered to go to couples counseling but one day she says she loves me and wants to work it out and be with me the rest of her life and then the next day she says she is better off without me and doesn't feel the same about me anymore. She told me she had medication but I am not sure if she was taking it how she is supposed to. We are both emotionally drained. Now I am struggling and she is doing good and it just hurts me to hear her say those things after everything we have been through but I know it is the disorder talking and not her heart. After 3 years, I am just now getting to research the disorder and see how serious it can and the effect it can have on the loved ones and each of our lives. So any help or suggesstions you guys can offer me would be greatly appreciated. After reading all these forums I know I am not alone in this and I wondering how some of you are actually married and have kids and still are able to deal with your loved ones having BPD.
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replied September 29th, 2008
Extremely eHealthy
Bipolar disorder is disruptive to everyday functioning, affecting energy, activity levels, judgment, and behavior, always resulting in damaged relationships.
If left untreated, this disease tends to get worse overtime with more intense and more frequent episodes of mania and depression.
It's very important for your girlfriend to be diagnosed and medicated correctly as soon as possible.
People with bipolar disorder can lead healthy and productive lives when the illness is effectively treated.
This means not just taking the proper meds, but, also, getting psychosocial treatments (cognitive behavioral therapy, psychoeducation, family therapy, interpersonal and social rhythm therapy)
She needs strong encouragement from you to seek treatment (you may need to take her for proper mental health evaluation and treatment).
Believe me, she isn't doing good (it's just her disease). She needs your help and
support.


Best wishes!
Marija
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replied March 18th, 2011
Bipolar II or hypomania may be more difficult bc the person seems less afflicted and thus less ill to their partner. With the more serious Type I form the psychosis is obvious and thus may be more excusable to some partners. Knowing that "this" is the disease talking doesn't make the mood swings, lies, affairs and monthly traumas any easier either. It hurts. You may learn to put yourself first someday, to learn how to make yourself happy, and most of all to know your limits with such a partner. How long you can last in such a relationship depends on your self care skills not dedication to a partner. If you've had a long relationship it may be bc your familiar with the horrid behavior, as with a undiagnosed family member or parent who has the condition. Love can't be trusted always here nor can rejection. Love is really blind in such a context. Like the Emperor said recently,"..I'm afraid things may get worse." thus you prepare and may you be fortunate.
CGJ III
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