Medical Questions > Mental Health > Self Injury Forum

Cutting Be More Than Just Depression ?!

I am 17 years old, A senior in high school. I started cutting myself when I was 14, and it actually made all the pressure and pain I felt go away, emotional pain that is. I am the girl that is always chosen last no matter what, I have never been kissed by a guy, Im still a virgin, and I have never been in a relationship. I am usually the quiet one out of the bunch. I dont get in trouble alot, and people dont talk to me alot. Sometimes I just feel so alone. Every guy I have ever liked has rejected me, and cutting only seemed to calm me down for the moment. I am usually left out alot, too. I isolate myself from everyone when i am at home, I will literally go to my room and lock the door. I keep a razor blade hide under my stereo, I use to didnt, but I recently put it there. I cut myself when I get very very very upset, and sometimes when I am bored. But I normally sleep when i get bored before I will cut myself. I have tried to quite and tried to quite but I keep going back. Everyone says I am depressed but deep down I just want someone to love me! I feel useless, loveless, tainted, pathetic, . . . .etc. Sometimes I just wanna know how it feels to be loved like everyone else.... that feels impossible. I dont want to go to rehab, I dont want a shrink. i think I am just loveless.
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replied March 8th, 2010
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Honey I just saw our post..I hope you are ok..You are not loveless..These people you talk about more than likely would give you friendship(IF) you gave it to yourself..It's hard but you gotta like yourself and let that light inside shine so that others will see that light in you..Look in the mirror and smile give yourself a hug..Write out your feelings, go walking, biking something good that gets you out and about..You can stop cutting you really can..You say you don't want counceling-well-I think we all want someone to listen to us and that is what a good councelor does..k
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