Hi everyone. I just found these wonderful forums and I am so glad to talk to people who have the same problems as me. I felt so alone in this before, it is nice to know that we can help eachother.

I am 23 and for the last 5 years or so I have not felt anything like I did as a kid. I didn't even notice at first, but it seems as though over the years I have lost my ability to be in the moment and enjoy just about anything, especially if there are other people involved.

I feel really detached from my friends. My cousin Erik left for the military in february and he just came back for his first visit in 7 months or so. In my head I was thinking, alright I should really wanna see him and hang out with him cause he has been my friend and cousin for my whole life. In reality though I just don't feel anything. I don't care if I see him or not and it doesn't bother me when my plans with my friends fall through, I am actually relieved. The only thing I get from my time around them is anxiety.

I am constantly worrying about things that don't matter such as when to watch a movie, or where to go for dinner. I always feel like what I am doing is the wrong choice and I somehow am wasting my time or could be doing something better. Lately I have been avoiding calling anyone on my phone because I feel to stressed to have a conversation with them. When I end up getting to stressed from being around people to much my mind just sorta goes into overdrive and I lose the ability to even think straight. I feel sick and confused, and my thoughts become irrational and weird. If someone starts to talk to me I will have all sorts of muscle twitches and my legs and arms or jaw will be extremely tense without my knowing and I am just barely able to keep myself in place to listen to what the person is saying.

I would love to hear from some people who feel like I do, I don't know why I feel like this, I just do. Thanks for reading.
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Users who thank guest13944 for this post: taketwo 

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replied August 31st, 2009
Thank you for posting your situation and reaching out to others for advice. I am responding to you as one of the experts on ehealthforum. I am a psychologist. You noted that you are afraid of doing/saying the wrong thing and that when you are around others you feel anxious and/or detached from them. And you imply that this is not consistent with how you have felt in the past. It is possible that the relationships you have known as a child are not the same now because you have changed. You may be in the process of recognizing that what and who you valued when you were younger is not helpful/beneficial to you now. As a result you are aware of uneasy, unfamiliar, and uncomfortable feelings. Without knowing you or more about your situation this is only offered as a possibility. You may find it helpful to talk with a licensed mental health professional who may be able to help you discern where these thoughts and feelings are coming from and what you may or may not need to do about them.

Best wishes,

Dr. Selby

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