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Coping with Schitzophrenia ?

My husband was very accomplished in high school. He played football, wrestled, and graduated an honor's student. From high school he went into the military. He was in the navy for about a year and a half when he was diagnosed with Schitzophrenia. He was then discharged from the navy. Life for him doesn't have a dead end, or atleast in my eyes. He can still get his Montgomery G.I. Bill to fund for higher education and did this past semester. However, he was very discouraged because he got a D in one of his three classes he took (he was only a part time student, without a job, because he was afraid of over loading himself). Now he wants to quit school. He doesn't think he is going to make it through college. Because of that D, he started talking about how he is a failure, worthless, and even sometime how he should die.

I have several problems with his condition: 1. I don't know or understand schitzophrenia very well so I don't know how to help him. 2. He is so smart and has so much potential and has something alot of people want, a way to fund college so that they are not burried in loans by the time they graduate. I'd hate to see him piss this away. 3. His dad was diagnosed with cancer because of smoking, and my husband smokes excessively. He was at two packs a day and started to cut back. Whenever he gets down, though, he becomes a constant chain smoker. Not only that, he is addicted to marijuana. I try to get him to quit both, but I think I just make him depressed about it and make him feel more worthless.

How can I help him? Are there people out there, like off the movie, "A Beautiful Mind," who have this condition, but, yet are successfull? I mean I know this is going to be a rocky road, but how do I show him that I need him- that he is not worthless, a failure, or that he should die? So far I have just been saying all the wrong things to push him to try to stay focused. I think all I am doing is putting more stress on the poor guy. I need someone out there to tell me their story about how they cope with life. He has no idea how to cope with his illness. If he just had some advise on how to cope, I think it would help him tremendously!
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replied December 29th, 2009
I'm sorry to hear about your struggles, but I wanted to drop you a line and let you know that there are plenty of schizophrenia success stories out there, so don't let it beat you down. I myself have paranoid schizophrenia, my last hospitalization was a couple of years ago and I am doing very well, working full time and soon to be married. Being on the other side of the argument, being the sick one I can tell you that it was my fiance and my families unending support that got me to where I am. Really the only advise that I can give to you and your husband would be to do what you can to understand this rather strange illness the best that you can. There are lots of good books out there (Diagnosis Schizophrenia and Living with Schizophrenia are very good and easy to find on line) there is plenty of info on the internet, if you are lucky enough to live in a city with a support group that meets I strongly recommend attending. My fiance also joins me for about 90% of my doctor appointments as well. Just as important as understanding the disease is letting go and allowing yourselves to be normal. Do the things that you like to do, together and individually. It is very important that a diagnosis of schizophrenia doesn't stop the person with the illness or the people who are in their support system from living their lives, in fact it makes it even more important. Look, I am not a doctor or a therapist, these are just things that work for my lady and I, do with them what you will. I really hope that this has been at least a little helpful and all the best to you and your husband. Drop a line if you have any questions or anything. Take care.
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replied April 9th, 2010
Hello,

It is me again. I thought that life was start to look up, for a couple of days, he seemed to be his old self- the way I met him 8 years ago... However, it must have not be ok. He overdosed on his medication 3/8. He is no longer with me... and I just feel like i have failed. How could I have let him slip through my fingers. Now I am even more afraid for my six month old son. I don''t want him to end up like his daddy. What do I do?!?
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replied April 9th, 2010
Active User, very eHealthy
It's so strange how no one sees at all what is really in others, quite the frightening concept.

He died? He went home? If he died, you should realize that he is now happier than you, and you should be absolutely jealous of him probably.

You really need to realize that you didn't let him slip through your fingers at all. It wasn't up to you and no, you could not have done more or whatever you people constantly put on yourselves when stuff like this happens.

You could really learn alot from this experience you know, about schizophrenia I mean, and how it's not a disease and things like that and stuff, and like other stuff.
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replied April 9th, 2010
How is it not a disease... It runs in his family like diabetes runs in others... the difference is this is mental illness we''re talking about. I look at disease as something that will never get better, and I know schizophrenics who stay on their meds... none of them have gotten better... if you have the answers on how to fix this disease, in my eyes, then you should share with me because there are alot of people in my family who have it.
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replied April 9th, 2010
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vwilliams,

I'm so sorry how this all turned out for you. Yes, it is a disease/mental illness and you are not to blame for him overdosing. When you said he is no longer with you did you mean that he passed away or moved out?
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replied April 10th, 2010
Experienced User
vwilliams wrote:
if you have the answers on how to fix this disease, in my eyes, then you should share with me because there are alot of people in my family who have it.


Dear Ms Williams,

I have sent you a PM with my e-mail address. If you like we can discuss it. As I already said before, I can help. In some cases, the symptoms that the doctors call schizophrenia can be cured completely, and in most of the others alleviated to a large extent, depending on what the cause is. But it definitely is a spiritual condition, needing a spiritual approach.

I'm not saying that medicaments are not needed. Very often they are, otherwise some people wouldn't be able to cope at all and could pose a danger to themselves or to others. But medicaments just suppress the symptoms and numb the person with some horrible side effects. They are not a cure, just a desperate means to make the voices shut up, to make the "hallucinations" subdue...

This is my experience. I have been helping people using a spiritual approach and it does work miracles. But the person has to be open-minded. I can't help the fanatics, be they religious or scientific; it amounts to the same.

Merrick sunny
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