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Coping with loneliness and anxiety

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Hi doctor… I don’t know how to start. I am 28 years old guy from of one of Middle East countries. I have depressed from my teenage time. I am shy , don’t have self confidence and self esteem , jealous , I have phobia and anxiety oh I hate myself. I am not comfortable in social situation .My major problem is in my sexual life. I can be friend with girls, I don’t know why but it seems to me that there is nothing important than sex in life and because I don’t have it so my life is means less and I am miserable. I try be avoid my friends and they expression from their experience with 100s of girls,they happy thims… oh god, I feel jealous. When they talk I feel terrible. I want be died and don’t hear this things that not happened to me. I know any individual could be say ...”If u wants something you must try to have it” I know... But again shy.. Confidence and ETC doesn’t allow me. I give up everything I always think about dead but I can’t kill myself because I know I will go to hell. I am

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replied August 24th, 2009
Depression Answer A7128

Given the data you provided (low self esteem, low confidence, not being comfortable in social situations, no sexual intercourse), you might feel anxiety about not having sexual intercourse so far. It is good that you are aware that it might be related to you being shy, and perhaps having low self esteem and low confidence. The situation might be so complex that you might think about death.

Simple advice might help your low confidence. There has to be something that you are good at. For example, being an IT professional is not something that anyone can achieve. Other aspects of your life must make you better than other people. As for what other men say, please keep in mind that there always might be a dose of exaggeration. If you can be friends with girls it is a good sign. It means that they do not avoid you. You might even be surprised to find out that certain of those girls you know are attracted to you. It might be a good start for a relationship that would eventually lead to intercourse. Even if it does not, it might help you feel more relaxed with women.

If you feel that nothing that you try can help you, then you might want to visit a psychotherapist. Learning relaxation techniques and improving your self esteem and confidence might be extremely helpful.

In the end, there are men and woman like you all over the world. You are not alone and I hope that you will find out that your soul mate is somewhere close to you. Just keep on searching.

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