I'm currently 17 years old, and have read through many different resources about the legal age to move out from home, but kept getting mixed answers. So I was wondering what is the definite legal age to move out without parental consent, and not to get involved with the police.

My family has been going through a rough period recently. I introduced my parents to my boyfriend, and they did not like him because of his appearance and ethnicity. They also use his family's background against me, (his mother had cheated on his father, which caused his father to get so upset, he has known for a while, but didn't say anything. But her telling him really sparked something in him, so he hit her.

Then his father told his mother to call the police, so he would be deported back to his home country, and they exaggerated the story to the police.

And my family believes that. (But my boyfriend was there on the day that happened, and even though he was my parents don't believe him.)

Anyways, I planned to go schooling over in Florida, where he resides, so I can be closer to him, and get a sense of "freedom" from my parents. His side of the family is very welcoming, and supports our relationship, and even allows me to stay there while I go schooling.

But my parents don't want me to go schooling out of the country. They want to see me graduate university/get married/have children. They always complain about my choices, and calls my boyfriend, "Dark-skinned, short, ugly, etc" They have an "ideal" boyfriend I should have, and "ideal" plans for my future. They want to control my life, I have a feeling, because everytime they rant to me, it's always about what "I should do" and not what "I want to do." They still think I'm a baby and have no moral judgment of anything.

Also, they always say they would do one thing, but then in the end, they get too scared to do it.

But I can't stand their criticism, it's too extreme, they assume more things than they know. And they believe its true. They never once talked to my boyfriend and asked him about himself, or his family. And they blame me for it. We had attempted to leave once, even got to the airport, but that didn't end up very well, and because of that my parents don't trust me.

They took away my passport, birth certificate and all my IDs, because of lack of trust. We also tried communicating many times, but the results are always the same. (Once, my dad got so aggressive he wanted to hit me with my laptop.)They want me to stay at home, because they're afraid I might run into trouble once I leave them, and that my boyfriend can't support me.

I feel so suffocating in my house. No one supports my opinions here, they just want to do what they believe is best for me, not what I feel is best for myself. They obviously do not accept me and the choices I made.
Did you find this post helpful?

replied August 3rd, 2013
Extremely eHealthy

You will be able to leave home when you have reached your majority - when you are legally an adult, which in lots of places is eighteen.
If you want to leave home before that you need the permission of a parent or guardian or if you can get yourself made a "ward of court", a judge.

Just now you don't like your family very much and because of that you are finding fault with almost everything they say. It is quite natural for you to be that way but I advise you to try and think more clearly.

No one is perfect so not everything they do or say is going to be good or right or to your taste. That doesn't alter the fact that somebody who has lived longer than yourself probably has more knowledge and experience than yourself so that even if you don't like them or their prejudices, some of the things they say to you could have at least a grain of truth.

I advise you to hear what they have to say and to learn to sort out what is prompted by fear or prejudice.

Your situation is by no means unique as lots of teens feel suffocated and controlled at home; this is part of what being a teen is all about. It is the duty of your parents to make the best decisions they can for your long-term welfare and education. They naturally will want what they perceive as best for you in the next fifty years of your life. You naturally want what you believe is best for you in the here and now and your age makes you impatient and rebellious - you don't even want to think past the next couple of years.

While it is important for a young person to learn from their own experience and mistakes there are some mistakes that simply cannot be overcome or undone.
From the point of view of your parents you are clearly demonstrating a level of immaturity and unwillingness to be patient or to compromise or even "hear" what they have to say, that is guaranteed to convince them not to trust you to make the best decisions for yourself. Legally, of course, the number of choices you are entitled to make for yourself is severely limited...

I am not in a position to judge whether it would be the best thing for you to study in Florida or whether once in Florida you would study at all or whether your parents are right and you are too immature to make those decisions for yourself but from your own description I am tending to favour your parents' view and I can assure you my opinion is not fuelled by prejudice against your dark-skinned boyfriend or any fictitious stories about his family or even by prejudice against seventeen year-olds, some of whom have already safely passed through puberty and display a very high level of maturity and rationality.

I advise you to question your own ability to know what is best for you and to continue to question it for as long as you remain so prejudiced against your parents' point of view.

Please be patient for another year. If your boyfriend is the man for you he will wait a year...

Good luck!
Did you find this post helpful?