Medical Questions > Relationships > Ending a Relationship Forum

confused if divorce was the right solution ;o(

Hi,
Im 31 years old, currently living alone and see my kids during weekend only.My story is like this:
I had an arrange marriage which my parents forced me into when I was 17 years old. I got married at the age of 18 years old although I did not love the guy and I did not have any feelings for him.Family pressure was upon me and I was too unmature to reject their decision.I tried to adapt to my husband and his family. Got 2 kids, but things did not change and I felt very incomplete. It was like there was a vacuum in my life.I wanted to divorce but did not have the guts to do it.When one day, some friends encouraged me given I was not happy.I separated and moved to a rented house. I did not have my family to support me so I could not take the kids. They stayed with my ex in-law and ex husband.I was suffocating and could not leave without them. Then I got an opportunity to go abroad which I took thinking this will change my life.I left the kids behind thinking to take them with me as soon as I can.Things did not go as I wished.I stayed with someone with whom i started to love but I could not forget my kids and this created tension in the new relationship.I finally came back to my country after 2 years.My ex husband agreed to come with the kids to stay with me but to stay as the kids parents only under the same roof with no husband wife relationship.I stayed for 1 year and it did not work.Now he left and I'm on my own. Again I have my kids during weekend only.The one I met in the foreign country wants the relationship again. Not sure what to do. Help please.
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replied February 17th, 2011
Community Volunteer
Hi shane22 and welcome to ehealth: First, I have to say I love your name....Now for the post...It sounds to me like you never had a chance to grow up and mature into being the woman that lives inside you...A forced or arranged marriage for a woman must be very difficult to accept...I can only imagine the torture it must have been for you to accept a man that you did not love...I do not speak of physical torture, I speak of the mental part of life and giving when you did not want to give...

I think the best thing for you to do is to think of your children....Be everything that you can be to them without confusing them.....Try and return to places in life that you have lost to find yourself...You are still young...Don't rush to find the real woman in yourself....In time she will find you....Take care...

Caroline
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