Hey guys, just thought I’d join the party.
I’ve come to terms with the fact that I may be depressed. I believe that I also suffer from an anxiety order, as I am to scared to join any hobbies that I believe I really want to pursue. I constantly have horrible thoughts about hurting myself or others that really trouble me, but I know I would never act on them, they are just really disturbing. I have panic attacks about reality, and the point of “life” quite often. I live alone, and have realized how few close friends I have, but I really don’t enjoy most of my life. I am a positive person (believe it or not) but I just don’t feel happy. I don’t care about my college courses, and haven’t for the past three years, yet I continue to pursue random courses. I’m to afraid to join jiu jitsu which I really have wanted to for along time, and I honestly can’t even picture myself succeeding or being happy. My doctor has prescribed me anti depressants but I’m really hesitant to take them as I don’t want to be someone who needs pills in order to get by everyday. Honestly I am just so tired of worrying about my mental health for most of my day everday, I just want to be happy, and enjoy life and not be so dark and negative. I’m not sure if much of this made sense as I have been drinking, which clearly didn’t make me feel better, but any input on this is appreciated. Thanks to whoever read this!
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replied February 13th, 2014
Hi Pontigoose I am going through much the same however I'm coming off antidepressants after 8 years they did work for me but the last 6 months did nothing I was so outgoing and lively I went out socialising and had many friends now the thought of going out socialising turns me to jelly if it wasn't for my kids and hubby I wouldn't bother at all you need help. Counselling cbt and I would give the tablets a go even in a small dose there's so much to enjoy from life get some help and start living God bless
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