I've moved over 8 times since I was born. I'm now 17 and have lived in the same place for 6 years. I was left out a lot when I was younger because I was always the "new girl" and I was always taller than everyone else. I'm 5'10 and 140lbs, but I think I have an eating disorder, I don't make myself sick but I constantly count calories, obsessively worrkout, and rarely eat until dinner. I run track so I think my muscle mass keeps my weight up. Anyway since I was about 9 I've been lying, first I lied about having an older sister. Then when I moved here, I told everyone I had two older siblings, and I made my parents go along with it. Then I switched schools where I pretended I had a boyfriend from the previous state I had lived. According to my lies, me and this boyfriend have been going out on and off for seven years. I've printed out fake photos of the boyfriend and made fake online accounts. I then transferred highschools and now other guys like me, so I had to get rid of the lie. So I said he died, but now I've told my friends I'm pregnant(I've never had sex) and I even copy and pasted an ultrasound and photo edited it so my name appeared on the top. I plan to misscarry the baby. Then I think all the lies will be done. I also lie and say my parents have marital problems and my dad is a physco. But they don't and my dad is a great dad. My younger brother of 21 months is literally amazing at everything and starts varsity for two sports, as a freshman. I've always felt inferior to him, even since we were little, he learned to ride a bike and skate before me. I don't understand why I constantly lie to friends, but I can't stand it anymore. I lie and say I'm sick. I do have very uncommon digestive problems and motility problems and a low heartbeat (about 40beats a min) and low bloodpressure but it's not like I'm dying. Please offer some guidance. thanks
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replied June 4th, 2009
Active User, very eHealthy
I am sorry to say you are doing this to get attention. Unfortunately, it's not the right kind of attention, but it doesn't matter as long as you are in the center. You need to stop this, but you may need help. People who make a career out of lying find it hard to stop. It makes you life seem more exciting than it is. It is surprising how you go to extremes to keep the lies going. Just remember that nobody want to deal with a liar. Liars can't be trusted, and don't make good friends, or employees. If businesses knew how you lie, you would not be hired for a job. You need to thank your lucky stars for the good life and great parents you have, and try to be the best person you can be WITHOUT the lying. Stop and think how you would feel if everything everyone told you was all lies. I doubt you would like it very much, and neither does anyone else. Time to grow up and stop acting like a little child. You don't need to do this. And yes, you are a compulsive liar at this point, but you don't have to STAY one. Is this the kind of attention you REALLY want?
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replied August 21st, 2009
Your lying seems rooted in a constant feeling of inadequacy, you feel infereior to your younger brother and those around you and hence you try to reverse the feelings. You want those around you to feel inferior to you emotionally and in terms of experience. As the previous answerer said in short attention is what you desire. As your own attention is drawn much more to those around you than their's is to you you feel you must alter this/reverse this in any way you can.
The average person tells a lie 6 times per hour or once every 10 minutes, however the problem with your kind of lying is that the lies are so large that you have to tell more to keep up the pretence, and hence the bigger the initial lie the more follow in it's wake.
The more inadequate you feel the more lies you tell, the more lies you tell the worse you feel, the worse you feel about yourself, the more lies you tell and so the cycle continues. What you need to focus on is breaking the cycle. It will be nearly impossible to just stop completely so try telling progressively smaller lies, make things sound less fantastical, but do this gradually.
In terms of your current lie about the baby, you could suggest that the scans had been mixed up, or as you said pretend you have miscarried. Remember the feelings you have now, how hard it is to get out of a lie, escape the pretence.
My main advice is to focus on gradually making your lies smaller and more believable. This sort of thing doesn't have a magic cure, you just need to think about why you are lying and steadily begin to do so less.
I can guarantee that the cause is not medical, it is a feeling of physical, social and psychological inadequacy that makes you lie compulsively.
Try to consider real things that you are good at, instead of believing yourself to be constantly infereior. Build your self esteem by maybe writing a list of things you are really good at, what your best features are and what you like most about yourself. I know that things will improve for you once you can accept yourself and love yourself as much as you admire those around you. You are the only one who can do this, good luck xx
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