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christian who cuts (Page 1)

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I am a christian girl who has lived in a foster family my whole life. I get very depressed but no one seems to believe me when I tell them that I'm feeling like this. Basically everywhere I turn I get turned away.
I try praying but God never answers me...I want to feel better. The one person who I thought I could always count on told me today to get over it. I feel like she doesn't care. I wish someone would care.
I wish someone would love me. I know I don't deserve it, but I guess I think I need it. My whole life has been about doing things for everyone else and all I want is someone to hold me and say that everything is ok. I want God to be enough for me...but honestly I can't seem to be content with God's love. Am I being stupid? Do I deserve to be loved? Im so confused.
My friends think I'm attention seeking. I'm not...atleast I think I'm not. I just want someone to love me. I just want a normal family who will be there to support me, but I dont have that and all I wanted was my friend to be there for me today, but she turned away. I don't know where to go now.
I have no one else. Life is not worth living anymore. Will someone please help me?? Lord, please help me.
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Users who thank dahkota for this post: emoangel 

replied April 12th, 2008
hello
Hello,
I read what you said and I really wanted to give you some advice that might help you. Well to start off you definitely don't deserve to be treated the way you are being treated because no one does under any circumstance. I know the way you are feeling and I know that it's not a good feeling at all..it's horrible. It's horrible to feel like you are not wanted and everything because I've been there..been through all of that. Right now I'm having a lot of family issues and it's not easy for me right now but I am coming along I guess. Anyways, I understand that it's probably even harder for you since you were adopted and everything. How do you get along with the family that you have right now? Do you have any contact with your real parents? Right now I am facing anexity and depression issues so I know what you are going through. I mean I'm not going through the same exact thing but my father is the same as the person who told you to get over it..like he is the same way, same attitude and it's hard. Are your friends understanding of you? I know that a lot of people do the cutting for attention but then there are a lot of people who do it because they think it will make them feel better and because they don't want to live anymore. I am sure you are not doing it for attention but at the same time you are..because you are craving the attention that you aren't getting. You know..it would be one thing if you got a lot of attention and you were doing it but it sounds like you don't get any attention to begin with so it's like your body is craving for the love and attention that you need..that you aren't getting already. I definitely understand..I have been to the points where I really had strong urges to cut but I try to fight them off even though it's really hard. I mean I think personally you should be going for help..like seeing a psychologist or something to help you cope with your problems. Does your parents know that you cut? Maybe if they did see your cuts they would realize that you are not kidding around and that you are serious. Please let me know how you are doing and I am willing to talk to you further about this and help you.

Please email me!
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replied September 3rd, 2008
hi
i too am a Christian who cuts.
I am sorry to hear that you are having a hard life.
I know how you feel about feeling as if God is not there or is and just does not answer your prayers. When you do not feel close to God go into your room remove your sharp objects put some Christian music on and read your bible. After you have finished reading your chosen bible passage just pray that God will draw you closer to him and will help you get the right help and support you need to help you get better. I know it is hard but it will help as it is what i have been told to do in the past. If you want to talk please just PM me. I am here for you !
((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS FOR DAHKOTA )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) )))
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replied April 9th, 2009
Experienced User
Me too
I am a Christian as well. The way I try to stop urges (when I feel the urge to cut or burn or whatever) I usually call a friend or a cousin. If they are unavailable, I try reading my Bible sometimes. Ultimately, I listen to music, because music means everything to me.
This may sound odd, but I think music saved my life.
If none of that works (reading your Bible, praying, memorizing verses, listening to music) then just go on a walk! If you need to take someone with you to ensure your safety to yourself, then please do so.
Now, this last one is a bit hard for me. My mom thinks I stopped cutting forever ago because she stuck me in counseling. Well, I still cut about 3 times a week, and I do everything in my power to NOT let her find out! If I randomly asked to go on a walk, she'd wonder why...
I hope you have better success!!
One last thing I do to fight urges: stick my head in cold water (with ice cubes) for at least 3 seconds at a time. Sometimes this shock is all you need...
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replied April 9th, 2009
hey im nicole im 13 and i cut
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replied April 9th, 2009
I'm also a Christian who self harmed. When you pray to God, pray with all your heart and life. I gave my life to God and things got much better. They were strange at first but he has a plan for you. Don't let a label make you think you're a bad person for doing this. God knows how you're feeling and doesn't judge you for that.
When you say God isn't hearing you, He is. He even saw you type this post. He is watching. The problem seems to be that you have one foot in the world and one with God, like using God as a crutch. Do you go to church? Talk to your pastor maybe? Or someone you trust who can make sure you're alright and check on you and motivate you. Hang in there.
xo
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replied August 3rd, 2009
Self-injury and christians
I feel MUCH the same as you, dahkota. I didn't find the way out myself - YET. So I can't give you much help though I wish I could. I really wish I could.
I can only say that YOU'RE NOT ALONE - YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE FEELIN' LIKE THIS.
Lot's of love, girl. Wishing you all the best, sis'
Christina, Poland
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replied August 3rd, 2009
God doesn't respond because he doesn't exist. I suggest a psychiatrist to help with the depression and talking to people who aren't there.
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replied August 3rd, 2009
self injury
God DOES exist. I know it even while I'm in a dark moment in my life. I see how He kept me alive in all the hard situations. I see He carried me through all the past. He does exist - no doubt.
Yes, sometimes we need to go to a psychiatrist, psychotherapist or a counselor for help. True! Yet at the end only God can heal - but He can work through the people. He does exist and I'm so sorry you don't believe it. Im must be even harder 4 u than it is 4 me...
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replied August 3rd, 2009
Supporter
His_my_only_hope--thank you for posting your response so well..God is certainly here for us normally he wlaks with us and sometimes it may seem like we are abandoned but then is when he is carryig us through..Just like the footstpes point implies..

poesuicide
I am not a doctor but I have cut in the past..There is no easy answer to cutting..When a person really wants to quit then I beleive it happens via parents, family, friends,doctor knowing calling out to God for his hand in stopping the blade..You know how they always say it takes the neighborhood well this helps with a cutter I think also..
When pople understnad what is going on then help is found..There is always the chance someone you tell may walk away, it could be fear or anger when they learn..But, if that happens you know they were not strong enough nor a friend..So you pray for that person and move on..
I amhere if you want to talk or PM..Kd
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replied August 3rd, 2009
Experienced User
GOD does exist, only a fool will say that GOD doesn't exist. GOD wakes us up, GOD gives life, GOD is in our every day life! (dahkota) Never think that man can fill your needs, it is GOD who are keeping you alive. If you put more trust in GOD, and quit doubting, maybe He will answer some of your prayers.
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replied August 4th, 2009
Experienced User
dear girl!

God is there to help you!
but you are not identifying him! and his help!
He is very close to ur throat!
He know everything and you!

Its a fault if you are praying to the wrong persons other than or along with GOD! he dont like / tolerate those who worship his worthless-lifeless-creations or creatures/ humane creations instead of HIM!

and don't tolerate if u bring mediators or Saints in between you and GOD!

its HE , who made you to seek a help!
its HE, who madeup these welwishers' mind to advise you with good advice!

Its HE, who can give you ultimate solace!


therefore Pray to GOD, with hope!
He is there watching you!
BUT you hav to wait til ur turn!

If you did well what GOD demanded from you,
you may get a speedy solace!
Only GOD knows what HE plans

Believe that HE do goodness to his believers as well
as to non believers!

So be optimistic! and pray to GOd..
and seek help from Kdlee and the like, til HIS blessing!

May Almighty bless you!
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replied August 4th, 2009
Extremely eHealthy
Hey dahkota
Prayer is a great way to get through any situation except the need for acceptance and responciveness. God is certainly listenning but it sounds like you need someone to respond and He doesn't often do that as clearly. I know first had that Christians are a bad source for advice besides prayer, trust that though your friends may see dismissive about your problems that they do care and likely pray for you to get better. I think it would help you a lot to talk to a person about how you're feeling and how you can deal with these feelings you have. Because you are cutting and there are people who are trained to help you with that problem, I would suggest you talk to a psychologist or an Analyst with experience counselling female teens. If you don't feel comfortable doing this or there are other obstacles I still think it's important you express your feelings to someone. Your pastor or school counselor are also great people to talk to about this.

I know very much how you feel. The doubts you face are agonizing because of your faith. Know that this is a problem that will disappear over time. Take good care of yourself until then. You're welcome to IM me if you like.
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replied August 6th, 2009
i'm a christian to and i cut i'll pray for you and it may seem like no one loves you but God loves and so does everyone around you
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replied August 6th, 2009
to dahkota and other Christians with problems
I know being a Christian and having problems (like fro example cutting) may be really hard, cause people may tell you or that God doesn't exist (cause "if He did, He would do sth immediately"... etc), or they say that you are a bad Christian (cause "if you were a good one, you would simply trust God and wouldn't cut"... etc). Both things are not true. God DOES EXIST, yet He sometimes doesn't help straight away (I don't know why. He just doesn't). We MAY HAVE PROBLEMS even as Christians. Nobody's perfect - we are NOT God. All Christians do have problems, yet the problems are different just as we - people - are. Why fighting with selfishness or false pride should be considered a smaller problem that cutting is? Hey, dahkota, try to go on. I also have problems with cutting, with trusting God, with self-accusations... It's not easy - sometimes like a nightmare (at least for me). But please, keep on. I want to hear from you how you are. keep on
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replied August 6th, 2009
Supporter
His_my_only_hope--welcome ot the forum honey..You are very right in what you wrote..One day at a time..GOd bless honey..I am here if you ever wnat to talkjust PM.. Now i have got to get ready for work...kd
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Users who thank kdlee for this post: His_my_only_hope 

replied August 7th, 2009
hello, kdlee. soo good to feel welcomed
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replied August 18th, 2009
Experienced User
i use to be really religous and cute but now im not that much, i dont worry bout a thing anymore. i do believe there is a God i just dont really understand the bible at all, and when i went to church none of my questions got answer so i stop going. since then i stop cutting myself, and worring.
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replied August 18th, 2009
Experienced User
i mean cut lol
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replied August 18th, 2009
hey 19yearold!
hey. well that's a thing I also find hard - cutting vs the church. I don't know what kind of a church you did go to. I used to be a part of Pentecostal church (seems like an open and accepting, huh? well, I didn't feel like that at all). I have HUGE problems with understanding Bible...
YET
Yet God vs my cutting it is sth different. I coulnd't imagine my life without Him. I mean, without Him in everything I do, in my image of myself, in planning my future, in deciding what is good and what is bad (at all, and particulary for me).
I'm now attending a different church, where I can see God-the loving Father. I still have some problems with cutting - it's not that easy as some people think - I still have some hard times reading Bible. Yet He is here, no matter how much mess I make around me. He surprised me (and still does) with this being around with a girl who is a mess like me.
19yearold, girl, I think you are a special person. You've gotta have a sensitive heart, and a tough life hitory. If you wanna share, post me
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