PLEASE, I need your honest opinion.

The current situation:

We have had a twenty-years marriage and have two primary school aged children.

My ‘wife’ has one sister and one brother, both adults and they’re aunty/uncle to my children.

The sister of my ‘wife’ would leave her own children (now adults) unsupervised at home when they were in the early years of primary school, with one child not having started school yet. She has previously been admitted into a psychiatric hospital for psychosis.

Her husband had a best friend who sexually abused his own child. The husband said that the child was possessed by an evil spirit for whom had put a spell on the father so to sexually abuse her.

This sister sent her children to stay with her mother (my ‘wife’s’ mother) who she knew would punish the children by physically restraining them, stripping off their underwear and putting spicy ginger inside their vagina and anus and not allowing them to wash it out. My 'wife' now hides this truth, saying her mother threatened the children with the above.

My ‘wife’s’ mother went to prison for trafficking drugs into the country. A few years later her husband (my ‘wife’s father) also went to prison for trafficking drugs into the country. The grandparents argued a lot.

My ‘wife’s’ sister was kidnapped and ‘gang-raped’ during childhood. She lived with my ‘wife’s brother. I know little about the brother’s childhood other than he was raised in the same home as the sister for whom I have concerns; he smacks his children for anything whereas my children have not ever been smacked.

Although my ‘wife’ was brought up in a different family home to her siblings, yet she too was sexually abused within the home.

My ‘wife’s’ brother recommended our children’s nanny. On the nanny’s laptop I found a video of a child being raped which she said her friend had sent her to raise awareness that child sexual abuse was a reality. I then told her I was taking my children to visit our G.P. due to their speech delay. We came home one day and the nanny was gone and not seen since!

When my 'wife' and I were out working together, her brother visited my home and children (via our subsequent nanny) without my knowledge or consent. I found out when the children told me. I asked my wife to stop the visits, which she said she did, but my children told me he continued. I have since stopped the brother attending without us being present.

He now pressures my ‘wife’ to allow our children to sleepover at his place so to be with their cousins. The cousin’s fight, my children do not ever!

My ‘wife’ denies any concern regarding the above.

Questions:
1. Would you leave your child alone with any one of the above family members? If so, which one and why?

2. Is my wife’s brother a risk - yes, no or maybe?

3. Am I wrong to feel my home is violated when my ‘wife’s’ brother enters my home without my knowledge or consent?

4. How can I supervise the above situation after my ‘wife’ divorces me and I am no longer living with my children?

Thank you so much for your support. God bless you.
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