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Brother's girl, I can't stand her

I'm having a problem with my family right now and have no idea what to do, or where to go. My 17 year old brother's 19 year old girlfriend is living at my parent's house because her "parent's are evil and kicked her out, and her grandparent's just won't allow her to live at their house" so she has no where else to go. Now, she's been angling to live at my parent's house since they began dating about 9 months ago, but my parent's firmly said NO to her. But now, she's managed to worm her way in, and I doubt she'll ever leave. I'm 23 and married, which makes me think that I must be crazy for being so upset about this, but she's in my old room which I shared with my sister. She has been cleaning because she is supposedly sick from dust under the bed, but it is making me so upset that she keeps touching my things and being in my old room. She's living there with no rent to pay because "she needs to save so she can move out." That is such a load of crap! My husband and I both can see that she's using my family because she has an unhappy home situation and wants to live there. My parents have always taken care of my brother's loser friends in the same way that some people take care of stray dogs. I probably sound like a selfish jerk, and if I do just don't comment...but I swear this is a bad situation and I just don't know what to do. If anyone has any ideas of how to cope, please let me know. I'm losing sleep over this...Thanks.
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replied October 26th, 2010
Experienced User
Understandable that if you don't like her and she's in your old room that's enough to make anyone feel at odds. If you're 23 it probably wasn't all that long ago that you said goodbye to that room so of course it would feel as though she's in your personal space to some degree. I don't think you're selfish and if you have feelings this strong about it/her being in that room, you may have to have a mature conversation with your folks.

Lay down some main points as to why this is not right and see what they think. Maybe a pro's & cons list would be helpful to sort out your feelings from reasoning points so you don't come across like a whining kid or something. Sometimes parents have a tendency to see us all as little kids incapable of caring for ourselves so they baby us. The girl should get a job to pay rent at least and contribute to other household chores (not just "cleaning the dust" in that room). Anyway, good luck and all the best.
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