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Borderline Personality Disorder

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This is a mental illness that is not discussed very much. If anyone has this illness or knows someone with this illness, I would like to hear your experiences with it. I was diagnosed last year and really don't think it's a correct diagnosis. As I understand the symptoms I could not really relate to others in a support group. Any information would be appreciated. My psychologist disagrees with the diagnosis.
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replied July 15th, 2009
My doctor diagnosed me with this when i was 16. When you have bpd you feel like your never good enough, no matter what people say, you still feel like you aren't good enough. Being in a relationship is hard because the thought of being left is always there, and its not the normal fear, its a nagging, buzzing "feeling" in your brain that eats at you all the time. People with bpd have a real fear of abandonment so being clingy is a BIG problem. Impulsivity is a real problem, it's never the same behaviors with any two people but mine are spending money, sex, and reckless driving when i get upset or angry. Difficulty controlling anger is a bad symptom, it drives alot of people away from you if you are unfortunate enough to have that symptom. Another bad one is feeling empty all the time, like you have nothing to really live for. The worst though is recurrent suicidal behavior, or threatening to do it.

I hope you figure this out soon and honestly I hope you have been misdiagnosed. Good luck.
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replied July 15th, 2009
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Thanks Tayyy, You know many of the symptoms I can relate to when I was younger. I'm 44 now. I'm very lay back and have a very even temper. I can say that my temper was really bad before I started taking Lexapro. It has really calmed me down. I am very sensitive, not too reckless except I did get mad a couple of times years ago and once drove my car into bushes, another time into a sign. Ugh! I'm pretty sure it was right but I just question it. My psychiatrist says I'm over my storm. I guess I hear some people talk about having to walk on egg shells around their loved ones with BPD but my husband thinks I'm quite pleasant and so do my friends. I think it's just the positive effects from my meds. helping me.

Thanks again for sharing. It's hard to find others that suffer from this as well. There are more support groups out there for family members than there is for people with BPD.
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replied July 15th, 2009
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wendy, after reading what you & your hubby have gone through i wouldn't be at all one bit surprised that a normal response to anything that caused any of us anxiety would be a symptom of a personallity change, i think so called specialist could stereotype a condition or response but does that help the curation or treatment of the situation. I salute to you & your husband, as a fellow 44yr old i sit here with tears in my eyes of compassion for your suffering.
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replied July 15th, 2009
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Thank you so much! See last year I had a mental breakdown, go figure...I really lost it, overdosed, injured myself, and it was like I was a different person. I had a psychiatrist who just didn't understand me, diagnosed me as bipolar and had me on meds that really made me worse and very sick. At the time I was extremely stressed over my husbands condition which was getting worse...They told him that he had to have this surgery but he could possibly be paralyzed afterwards. At the same time I injured my neck and couldn't stand the pain so was popping Vicodine and going to work looking very high. I was teaching middle school at the time. All of this together caused me to lose it..I really hit a brick wall so to speak. I had an argument that morning with my assistant principal and my students wouldn't stop talking..just a normal day but I was at my wits end. I left work and went home and overdosed...I know it wasn't the answer but at the time I was desperate for some peace. I was hospitalized 4 times last year and given a lot of meds that like I said made me hallucinate and injure myself. Last December a psychiatrist listened to me finally and diagnosed me with BPD because of past events as well. Now I find that I'm starting menopause so with that a lot of it could be hormonal too. I question a lot of stuff. I'm better and very level headed. I hear horrible things about people with BPD and I just don't think I fit the profile. I've always been a very easy going loving person and I raised two great kids. One is just entering the police academy at college and the other is on his way soon. Today I went for a routine mammo and was told I have a huge mass in my breast after ignoring some cysts for a couple of years. It just never ends. But my Xanax is helping me sleep! Thanks for listening!
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replied July 15th, 2009
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what anoys me is the medical profession don't give one moments thought to treating any illness with nutritional balance & most of the time it is this inbalance that has caused the illness. how do you feel about this subject have you seen any of my previous posts? I believe it could help you!
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replied July 16th, 2009
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I was actually asking about this in a previous post. I tried to go off Lexapro but got really sick. I'm thinking of trying St. Johns Wort which someone on here suggested for depression. I'm just really afraid of going off my meds because they are working so well. I don't know what to do. I'm going to discuss it with my psychologist. Maybe he can make some suggestions too. I wanted to see this Chinese Naturopathy doctor but my insurance didn't cover it. Right now with such bad insomnia I'm taking 3 Xanax to sleep. Ugh! Any suggestions for natural rememdies for anxiety? I figure maybe I can take these with my meds and then slowly wean off.
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replied July 16th, 2009
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Wendy honey when do you learn about the mass? Could it be that the fibrocystic breast disease has given you more spots that clumped together? I ask this as I have this (Iknow it sounds like Ihave everything) but the doc did a biopsy and it was normal and he placed a marker so each time I have a mammogram every 6months it can show if there is a change in size etc..Maybe one of the cysts has filled up..Prayers for this to be simple large cyst..kd
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replied July 16th, 2009
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Well, yesterday I went for the mammo and I originally had some small cysts on my breast a few years ago. I went back a couple of times and they kept rechecking. I lost my insurance for awhile and other things were going on so I didn't go back for 3 years. My own stupidity. Well the x-ray tech told and showed me this huge mass. It really was large. Like the size of half my breast and my breast aren't small. She seemed quite upset with it. I know it could be benine and hopefully it is. My doctors office just called me to tell me that my menopause test came back negative and I told her about my mammo and she said the x-ray tech shouldn't have said anything to me and I shouldn't worry until they get the results. I am worried though because it's been 3 years and I have had so much pain in my breasts. Just something else to stress over.
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replied July 16th, 2009
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I am so sorry honey.. You guys don't need anything else on your plate..will continue to pray everything to be negative..hugs..
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replied July 16th, 2009
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Thank you kdlee! You've been a good friend.
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replied September 22nd, 2009
"I had a psychiatrist who just didn't understand me, diagnosed me as bipolar and had me on meds that really made me worse and very sick."

I wonder if thats the same problem with me. I was diagnosed with Bipolar but I always thought they were wrong. I frequently have feelings of unworthiness, emptiness, always feeling like my girlfriend will leave me. i was starting to think i just had low self esteem and anxiety. now i dont know what to think.

wendy, did you ever discover that you had borderline?
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replied October 2nd, 2009
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Hi linz, I just saw your post. I was diagnosed with BPD back in December 08 but my current doctor tells me that it is a possible diagnosis but I'm through the storm so to speak. Like I said in an earlier post, it effected me when I was younger and now with age, therapy, and medication I'm fine. My therapist said that the best thing to do is to treat the symptoms and not the disease. I think that makes a lot of sense because they are quick to put a label on everything these days.
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replied November 10th, 2009
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I had a relationship with someone who had BPD--that's what it seemed. It was really hard on me. I never knew if the person meant anything she said. She was very seductive in language and seemed open. It was more facade to mask anger. She's easily one of the most angry people I ever knew. I'm just recalling...

It was mostly chaos and some goodness was also there.

That's my memory. Doesn't really address your post. Go have a second opinion, if you want. People aren't perfect and it's always possible you were misdiagnosed.
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replied May 24th, 2010
OMG I have Bpd and there are others.....
I never knew i would find another person who suffered the same thing. Im 32 male same story.. mis diagnosed bipolar..lost my career wife children and i find it extremly difficult to trust anyone anymore... If nothing else at least i have solice in knowing im not alone
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replied June 17th, 2014
I learned from experience with my daughter in law that it is all about Control and Power. She is always right and there is no arguing that fact. She blames everyone else for all her troubles. She stays up late, naps in the day. She constantly contacts my son via text and if he is busy (he's a teacher), she blows up his phone and contacts the school office. If she and my son fight she blames is on his upbringing.She blames her problems on her upbringing. She home schools so she can control the children. She controls all family events---parties, holidays etc. If you look at her the wrong way you must apologize as she is the victim. She is always the victim. She yells and screams and swears (my son has recordings)but she claims she doesn't do this. I believe she disassociates. This was my experience.
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