Medical Questions > Mental Health > Bipolar Disorder Forum

Bipolar robbed me of my mum

you see the adds on tv saying to treat people with bipolar the same as every1 else but how am i supposed to do that if my mum cant go a day without mentioning it in sum way. we can be completely off the topic but some way she manages to end the conversaton with something about bipolar or mental illness. shes not happy anymore and thats not my words, we'll be having fun laughing together like old times, but no, shes not having fun because shes happy its because shes manic. Thats what she tells me. now everything in her life is associated with it in some way, all of her past all of her future. im 15, i feel like i lost my true mum at 14. Since she was diagnosed she hasnt been the same, i miss the old her....
please help.
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replied April 28th, 2009
Re: bipolar robbed me of my mum
Hi there,

I am currently looking to be diagnosed with bipolar and came across a website from a first person perspective which included diary enteries.

From reading a few of them, it got to the point where it seemed to me they were blaming eveything on being bipolar, and more worryingly thinking about abusing their medication to change their circumstances.

With bipolar disorder it is difficult to know where the disorder ends and you begin since it is all so intertwined.

What I recommend is possibly talking with your mom and her psychiatrist about this (or possibly ring her psychiatrist and ask them to talk to her about it without mentioning you brought it up) and tease the real her out of the disorder. If this isn't possible I would mention it to your doctor, they're there to help and advise you. Avoid approaching her when you suspect she is depressed/manic, especially if she is type 1.

You could also try mentioning it to her, or getting her to write a list about herself eg: what she likes/doesn't/ how she feels about certain things.

I tried blocking my bipolarity for 2 years (unsuccesfully by avoiding things that would make me think, and somethings that would cause emotion, I don't recommend this half life) but it has made me realise now that it has came back that you cannot let it rule your life and neither is it helpful or excusable to blame or explain everything on it. Our emotions CAN be seporate from our bipolarity and there is the real us underneath. Sometimes we just can't find it.

I hope this helps in some way. Remember she needs your support but your health is important too! x
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replied May 11th, 2009
I know how you feel..
My mum was diagnosed 8 years ago, i was 8 and didnt understand. She was admitted to a psych unit and then when she came out she was on pills with weird side effects. Every so often she was taken off the pills for a trial period, but always went manic again. The following year my dad had a nervous breakdown because of it. I was then 9 and had to look after the house and my 7 year old brother (also autistic with illness similar to ADHD) as well as worrying about my dad. To me, my mum is dead, she died to me when she got ill. I miss my mum. My dad doesnt love her anymore and has been cheating on her for 2 years and i'm the only one who knows. All this has mucked up my head a lot, I never talked to people till about 7 years after she got ill, I'm here to talk to, don't want you to end up like me.
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