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Bipolar or extreme anxiety? Please help

I was diagnosed with gad 13 years ago. I am now 34. I was first prescribed Prozac for almost 4 years. Then Effexor for about 9. I'm not sure what was going on maybe my meds stopped working or I built up a tolerance. But after 9 years just recently in the last 3 months I started having what felt like a relapse of anxiety. But at the same time almost like withdrawal from the Effexor while still on the same dose. So after trying to manage a crazy anxiety that with some weird ocd intrusive thoughts that I had never had a problem with in the past I decided to taper off my Effexor onto Zoloft which I haven't started the Zoloft yet. Only 3 days on tapering off Effexor. But all my symptoms started before taper. I have got myself so worried that I may have bipolar because someone told me I might have it. But never experiencing any of the depression or severe mania I thought I don't think that I have that. But being that my dad killed himself and had a lot of mental disorders I have got myself so worked up. So with anxiety you can experience racing thoughts. Mine are worse when trying to fall asleep or a little when I wake up. But sometimes it's like an anticipated thing. Like I'm jut waiting for them so it makes the anxiety worse. Lately my anxiety had been so bad I was slacking on house duties. Well I read which I need to stop doing cause bipolar anxiety and racing thoughts sound almost similar to the gad. But I guess your thoughts can jump from one things to a next. Well mine kinda are like. I need to do laundry, clean the kitchen, clean the kids room. And I start getting anxiety cause all the things I was neglecting for the last month with the anxiety and trying to figure out what's wrong with me. So my racing thoughts are mostly about my worries about what's wrong with me. Like when will I just be better. Or trying to talk myself out of the anxiety. Like positive self talks. Then I start dwelling on what's going to work? What if the new med makes me crazy? What if ? What if? So the I started thinking omg what if these are racing thoughts and that's a sign I'm bipolar. Well I heard antidepresants can make you manic. Shouldn't it have happened way before 13 years on ads? Which I was never depressed just started having panic attacks after my dad passed. Then with being female and having mood swings and I believe I'm in the begging stages of peri menopausal. Also my therapist doesn't help and I'm changing to someone else. He told be his take on bipolar is someone who is very intense on their emotions. So almost telling me that I could be bipolar cause I have been consumed on my anxiety and what could be wrong with me and just can't stop obsessing about every thought or feeling I have. And when will I just feel back normal. Whatever that is. Also I might have a mix up on racing thoughts and concentration problems. Which is a symptom of anxiety. My psych told me that he doesn't thing I'm depressed or bipolar but he didn't really spend much time listening to my probs. Be says I'm worrying in excess about what's wrong with me and making it worse by googling. Then I start googling bipolar symptoms and thinking well some of those I might have but its almost like anxiety or pms. Then I star at questioning stupid decisions I made as a teenager like maxing out credit cards. Or having low self esteem so I wouldn't always want to be in a relationship. Then that freaks me out cause bipolar people do things when they are manic but from what in reading they have different levels of mania now. It's so confusing ugh. So before my medicine poop out and it probably didn't help we had a death in the family a couple months before I was what I thought was ok or decent lol, my husband jokes with me that I'm not cause I get crazy around my period and have a bout of pms. I guess the paying too much attention to my thoughts and how I feel I started feeling like I was having racing thoughts. The thought thing is worse in the morning lately , I wake up but can't get up cause our house is so small I will wake everyone up. So I lay there trying to go back to sleep. Close my eyes and between almost falling asleep I start thinking about how I'm going to feel. Then as I might drift off a little more my brain won't shut up lol. It's like I have conversations in my head with people I know of course. Or I get a song stuck in my head. Which I think I have tried to focus on the song thinking it might help me not worry and fall asleep. But in just gets more annoying. I would just think that if I was bipolar I would have had more episodes like this. And when I ask my therapist he acts like he doesn't know. I mean aren't these people supposed to be educated on these types of things? Another thing is I want to try and calm my anxiety so I start thinking of things I should do to help relieve it, like I knit or crochet. But then lately the only thing that has made me feel better is googling. Which I'm trying to stop. Then I think "oh am I bipolar cause I have these ideas that I want to do stuff to take my mind off my anxiety but then don't follow through?? " My family says I'm not bipolar and I have got myself in a cycle of worry and thinking I'm going to manic or schizophrenic that I just keep it going by googling symptoms. Now I'm weaning off Effexor and googling about that cause I'm freaked out about switching meds. Can anyone help me to differentiate ? Am I just extremely anxious with some kind of ocd thing happening?
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replied November 19th, 2015
Sorry for the terrible grammar and rambling. I am typing this from my phone and can't see to correct my mistakes till after its posted. I wanted to make sure I included exactly how I have been feeling.
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