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June 11th, 2010
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My friend is going through his manic stage right now and I'm trying my best not to do or say anything to set him off. Which is hard to do when they are this way because they are easily upset. He has other girls texting his phone 24/7 if I say something than it is a big fight. I know that this is not a healthy relationship at the moment. He told me that he knows he needs medication and that he willing to take some. I want him to get on some very soon we are trying to conceive and I know that bringing a baby into this while he is not on meds is not a good idea. We talked about having a child about six months ago and both decided to wait 6 months to see how we both felt about it. Now we are doing everything to conceive from ovulation test and temperature monitoring. I want a child with him but, inside I know that until he gets his life together it is not a good idea. I came to this decision a few days ago. Now I'm hoping that my period comes on the 18th of this month like it should. This site is a good one when looking for support and I'm glad that you guys are sharing your experiences it makes me feel like I'm not alone.
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replied June 13th, 2010
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Hello Everyone,

I am a 52 year old mother and grandmother. I was diagnosed with BPD 5 years ago. I have been happily married for 34 years. The most devestating thing happened in my life when I lost it. My eldest daughter was diagnosed with cancer. As a loving mother I noticed immediately I was not behaving normally. I knew I had to be strong, I had experience with other mentally ills individuals in my life so I knew something was wrong. I am so sorry all of you are going through such hard times. Its not easy being on the receiving end, walking on eggshells. I want all of you to understand that until you mate or loved one acknowledges they have a problem they will never get help. The first step to getting better is to recognize in your self you have a problem. I know how much you love them but their is nothing you can do. It's the same as if you were living with an alchololic, nothing will change until they realize they have a problem. I wish the best for all of you. Also many mentally ill people are ashamed to admit they have a problem, other dont like the way their medications make them feel and instead of talking to their specialists about options they choose to go off thier medications. Then they become irrational again. I understand however how mentally ill people feel. I have read many posts, not this one that totally puts all of us in one catagory, and these individuals have said stay away from anyone who had BPD. It's an unfair statement because their are many of us who with the help of doctors and correct medications go on to live happy lives.
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replied June 14th, 2010
BIPOLAR not just one person" the family"
I can't begin to tell you I thankful I am for this site. I never realized that so many people are in the exact same situation I am a wife who thought I was getting things together but his alcohol has increased which therefore means his abuse physical and verbal. Having bipolar is one thing but alcohol intertwined just adds to the mess. I Have 2 small kids who are always crying or not wanting to come home until he goes to sleep. Life is a circle but this never ending cycle seems to be the end for us as a family. I don't have such a high education where I can provide so much for my kids but i love them dearly and feel this isn't what any of us deserve. In the morning he is fine like the husband I once knew as the evening progress the same abuse. We haven't had the same bed for over a year. I can't sleep with him lying next to me. He wants the children home but never wants them to play or us do something together so many of us are in the same pain. Funny how we never know how bad we all have it.


TandEsmom wrote:
I just read your post and the parallels to my own life are uncanny.

I also have a husband who has bipolar disorder (rapid cycling) who is in denial. He is a psychiatrist (practicing now for more than 20 years) and he-of all people-should be able to identify the symptoms. My husband cycles about every 3-4 weeks so I am forever wondering who will come through the door (talk about Jekyl and Hyde). When he is himself he is wonderful. When he's manic he will go to a store or shop online and spend thousands of dollars on stuff that I usually end up selling on Craigslist. We recently went on vacation and he bought an airplane...an actual airplane!!! No, he's not a pilot...yet.

We also have two children, ages 3 and 7. I am also in the "biz" (I'm a psychotherapist) and I know the signs when I see them but I cannot for the life of me get this man to see that his irritability, which often leads to rage, is killing our relationship and damaging our children. Each time he cycles he suggests that we end our marriage. But I truly love my husband and want to spend the rest of my life with him. Can you imagine how it hurts to be threatened with that on a monthly basis?

I mean the man diagnoses and treats psychiatric disorders (and becomes frustrated with people who have no insight into their illnesses) every single day and he ABSOLUTELY refuses to even allow me to finish my sentence when I bring up the issue.

Right now is a bad time, which is why I found this site. I can't talk to my colleagues, who all know (and some work with) my husband. I have begun to journal his moods so that I can track them. Maybe I'll find some rhyme or reason...all I know is that I expect him to be in bed over the next week or so with little more than a glance in the direction of me or the kids.

I hope you read this...not that it helps you, but because it's nice to know that neither one of us is alone. Thanks for listening.
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replied June 17th, 2010
I am so grateful for this site. Before I thought no one else experiences the things I do with my hubby. My husband is organic bipolar II with rapid cycling. I never know what I am going to deal with when I walk in the door every day. He is the sweetest, most loving, caring and compassionate person I know on his good days. His bad moments flow in and out without notice. It gets very frustrating never knowing how to respond. On his bad days, I am a B****, and get told to f*&^ off, or go to [email protected]@ a lot.
Has any of the wives on this blog found a good way to handle the bad moments? Is it better to ignore them or is there a better way to handle it? I know sometimes when I give in to the bad days with my hubby we wind up in a huge fight that can last for days. I never get an apology, and have come to just not expect it.

I would love to hear anyone else's input. it is so hard to talk to my friends about what's going on b/c they just dont understand the bi-polar reactions of my hubby.

Thanks
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replied June 19th, 2010
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I am also grateful for this site it helps me deal with some situations in my life that I need to vent about. It also gives me the opportunity to get other peoples views on the situation. Every situation is different when dealing with someone who is bipolar and I'm learning how to deal with my friends situation. It is a struggle at times when he is in his manic stage. I've made the decision and so far sticking to it to stay away as much as possible when he is in this stage so I can keep my sanity. It has made him deal with the problems he is having. As long as he continues to get counseling I will stand by him.
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replied June 19th, 2010
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Unfortunately when someones is having an episode they are totally irrational, and its impossible to talk to anyone who cannot see straight.

Amandeep,
Sadly so many people who suffer from this illness turn to alcohol, or other drugs. They are trying to self medicate. My heart goes out to you. Dealing with both issues is a horrible way to live.

I was once unmedicated and I know that when I had those moments I would not listen to anyone, any little thing could upset me. I think its best to stay away from someone when they are having an episode. You need to take care of yourself and your child.

I will pray for all of you.
God Bless
Cindy
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replied July 6th, 2010
I am also married to a bipolar husband. We are a blended family and have 5 kids. We have custody of all of them. My husband can we the sweetest man in the world then in the next second be so angry and mean. The kids avoid him. My oldest daughter from a prevoius marriage hates him. I dont know how I feel anymore. when he was taking the right meds he was doing great and I thought everything would be good. But he started gaining weight and didnt like it so now he wont take them. I have tried telling him , I would rather be married to someone who was overweight but we were happy ,than to be with someone who I dont like anymore. I am afraid to leave because of the kids. I wouldnt be able to take his 2 boys with me and I have raised them since they were 2 and 3. They are my babies and I dont want to loose them. I just feel so lost. I am so glad I found this site. It is so nice to know that there are other people out there like me.
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replied July 25th, 2010
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My friend is going through a real bad stage right now and I don't feel like I even know him anymore. I have cut all ties with him and got a no trepass order because he was threatening bodly harm. He has stolen the title to one of my vehicles and called the police saying that I'm stocking him. I have had no contact what so ever with him and have not even tried after I found out that he was seeing his ex again while we were supposed to be a couple. I'm trying to understand why he is doing the things he has done since I've cut my ties with him but, he is not rational right now. It hurts a lot because I love him so much. He has told his kids not to have anything to do with me any more and if they do he will whoop them. This really hurts because for the last year and a half I have spent a lot of time with his kids and I miss them dearly. His son asked to sneak and see me but, I advised him not to do it because I was afraid his father would find out.
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replied October 4th, 2010
try havin ur husband tell u he is leaving u 4 times in 5 months!
I got married in january to a wonderful and seemingly charming man. I was in nursing school and couldnt move in with him till I graduated (i lived in Ms and He is stationed in the military in Fl) When we dated he told me he was Bipolar and it wasnt that bad... YEAH.. So it is now October and I moved in with him a month ago. Since May to now, He has told me he wanted a DIVORCE 4 times. During these little episodes, he would 1)NOT ANSWER MY CALLS/TEXTS. 2) TELL ME HE WAS FOR CERTAIN GOING TO FILE PAPERS (which i never seem to have gotten)and 3)EVERYTHING WAS MY FAULT. He said the main reasons for him wanting a divorce each time was that he was unhappy and I complained too much. He never held me. Barely talked. When i tried to tell him how i felt, he alays got defensive and it would be a fight. I dont know what to do. I am starting want a divorce myself. I cant live like this.
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replied December 9th, 2011
My husband and I have only been married for a month now, and I knew when we got married he was bipolar. However, recently it has gotten worse. He himself has admitted he feels like he is losing control. He is willing to seek medical help, but being that I was raised by a man that was on medication I know that they almost become completely emotionless. I don't want my husband to be a completely different person bc he is too medicated. I've been reading about homeopathic approaches and wondered if anyone had tried the all natural supplements and how they worked? Any advice is welcomed please. We have a young child and it is starting to affect my son and husbands relationship.
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