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Bipolar Girlfriend She broke up with me out of the blue

My ex and I have been together for four years. She broke up with me out of the blue, stating she needed space, was not in love with me but loves me, etc.... I am at a loss with what to do and how to handle all of this. She is the love of my life and yes, I knew she is bipolar and she is not on medication and never has been. I know when she cycles and believe that is what has been going on since February of this year. Please help. We still talk, she says she wants to be friends, yet I male all the initiating contact at this point. Do I just need to stop and hope she comes back
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replied June 21st, 2014
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Hi Kbauer1968...If she is truly bipolar this could be part of her actions...Unless a person is diagnosed with this disease you really can't give any reasons....Personally, I would say to stop and hope she comes back...But, again if she is, this could happen again and again...Take care...

Caroline...
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replied June 22nd, 2014
Thanks Caroline. Her sister has been diagnosed with bipolar, and she admits she cycles, but never calls it bipolar. I have known her since I was 18. I guess when we reconnected and began our relationship four years ago, I should have began reading up on this and could have changed my behaviors and reactions to her needing space. She has always needed space and i always knew when she was going through the depressive stage as her house became very messy and chaotic. The four years we were together though it has never been this bad. i am beginning to think the older she gets the less she is going to be able to handle this on her own. As I said, she has never been medicated nor diagnosed, but all the classic signs are there. Coupled with a screwed up home life with an alcoholic parent and drug addicted mother who eventually committed suicide with drano. Yep, in for a ride and willing to go along, but not sure how to help or what to do at this stage. She is totally pulling away and as i said broke up with me, but we remain in contact. Without going into it all, it is complicated and alot of people on the outside do not get it and why i love her so damn much.
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replied September 13th, 2014
This will happen again and again and again even if she is on meds. My lady friend of 3 1/2 years has taken off at least 16 times with each episode lasting from 4 days to up to almost 2 full months. And she is currently gone as of last evening. She was visiting a cousin when out of the blue she sent a text wanting aall her clothes and that she had decided to be with someone else. We had not been arguing nor even any harsh words between us and everything seemed fine till them. It usually starts the same way, first noticable depression then wanting to go visit a relative and then off to the races. Usually ending up with who knows doing what. I can only imagine. Then when the episode wears off I get a phone call or text from her wanting to come home. She has been going to therapy as often as twice a week but suddenly decided they weere not doing her any good and changedproviders but eventually she will say the same about them. If you truly love this girl just pray, forgive and be patient. As long as she knows you are a safe haven she will return.
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replied June 22nd, 2014
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Hi again: Chances are that she will worsen with age...She should see a Therapist as medication probably would help her problem...However, if she has bipolar she will never change...You live with hope, but and unfortunately they will go back into that cycle without warning...I know as we have also lived with this in our family...Take care of yourself...There is only one you...My best to you...

Caroline..
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replied June 22nd, 2014
Ok, I am going to go out on a limb and share an email to her that I have prepared but have not sent as I do not know if it is too much... Any suggestions would be appreciated as I am willing to go through this..I have known her since we we 18 and were together for four years until the break up late Feb. 2014.Here is the email..I was really hoping I could speak with you about this rather than over an email. As I told you in the last email, I have been doing a lot of reading lately regarding bipolar and relationships. I read a lot of the same things from those in relationships with someone who is bipolar. The reason given and the Breakups are 95% the exact same. It is out of the blue, it is me, not you, and I love you but not in love with you. I have finally been validated in the sense that I am not crazy for thinking we still have a shot. All these other stories of the exact same thing cannot be coincidence. I cannot begin to grasp what it is like or how it makes you feel, however, together, I do believe we can get through this. There are many people out there who are living proof of that who are having successful relationships. I knew what I signed up for when we got together. You were very forthcoming about the rhematoid/fibro, about how you cycle and ur need for space, how you feel chaotic at times, how the house becomes extremely unkempt during this time. You told me about all of this and I CHOSE to stay with you. I STILL CHOOSE YOU!

I don't know how else to tell you that I will support you through all of this. No, I have not spoken with anyone about this, nor will I. I do not believe that your friends no exactly what is going on, except for maybe a select few. As far as the rest are concerned... It's just you, you kinda come and go with them too, but you have trusted me enough to share all the stuff and warn me about it because you CHOSE me as well. I know we will get through this and get back to a better place than where we were. I can handle a lot and yes, you can lay your world on me. I will step back and give you the space you need to do what you need to do to get better. I only ask you one thing, please, if there is someone else or if u become more than platonic with someone, I need to know because that I do not think I can handle as you found out the other day when I asked if there was someone else you are seeing. I am well aware that when someone who is bipolar begins the cycle of that high, the sexual piece becomes very heightened. For example, when you told me you had not been with a woman for a very long time and the last few people you were with were guys. When I asked why, your response was guys are easy and I was horny. I have read that story as well amongst the forums. It is all beginning to make sense.

After all of this information I have known and have begun to learn and realize, I am still choosing you. I love you and you are worth it. I know it will always be Complicated and it will not always be easy. Someone told me, very close to you, that in all the years they have known you, they had never seen you as happy as you were when we reconnected. I am here, I am not going anywhere.

All my love,
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replied June 22nd, 2014
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Hi again: I haven't been able to get on the site until now...Still having a hard time...I think it is a great letter...It is the only way that you have of making her face her problem...I hope this helps...

Being bipolar is both a difficult place to be as well as understand...It got too much for me and I had to let go...It was killing me...I send you all my love and best wishes...Sincerely, Caroline...
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replied September 13th, 2014
This will happen again and again and again even if she is on meds. My lady friend of 3 1/2 years has taken off at least 16 times with each episode lasting from 4 days to up to almost 2 full months. And she is currently gone as of last evening. She was visiting a cousin when out of the blue she sent a text wanting aall her clothes and that she had decided to be with someone else. We had not been arguing nor even any harsh words between us and everything seemed fine till them. It usually starts the same way, first noticable depression then wanting to go visit a relative and then off to the races. Usually ending up with who knows doing what. I can only imagine. Then when the episode wears off I get a phone call or text from her wanting to come home. She has been going to therapy as often as twice a week but suddenly decided they weere not doing her any good and changedproviders but eventually she will say the same about them. If you truly love this girl just pray, forgive and be patient. As long as she knows you are a safe haven she will return.
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